What Fools These Shinobi Be
by dave-d
Summary: Hiashi has made a unfortunate demand, based on ancient law. Hinata can choose marriage, death, or a nun's habit. What hope does she have? [N x H]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

_Time for some Shakespeare, Naruto-style…._

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A tinkling sound could be heard.

The ring of ice falling into tall glasses was followed by the _glug glug glug _of a fresh cocktail being poured.

Mask on and forehead protector covering his sharingan eye, Kakashi made his way out of a dimly lit kitchen into the well illuminated living room area. A large table had been pulled out into the middle of the room, and was piled up with papers, scrolls, and maps.

"So, you're being serious?" Kakashi placed one of the drinks in front of Kurenai. Impishly, he had put a little paper parasol in it, something he had picked up at one of the social clubs that Jiraiya spoke so effusively about. "You give me your word? You'll actually go on a date with me before we get busy proctoring the chuunin exams?"

The masked ninja stood looking at Kurenai, who was busy leafing through the exam questions that she had written. He had never approached his fellow Jounin romantically before, since she had been interested in Asuma, before his untimely death at Akatsuki's hand. He wondered if she would ever get over that loss.

"_Mmmmmm." _Kurenai didn't bother with a verbal answer. Pushing away the hair that swung in front of her eyes, she crossed off a question that seemed too insipid.

The Copy Ninja took out his Icha Icha book and held it aloft. The words he spoke came from an old play, not from that bawdy text. "Four happy days bring in a new moon; but, methinks, how slow this old moon wanes! She lingers my desires, like to a step-dame or a dowager, long withering out a young man revenue."

"Whatever," Kurenai said, tapping at the tabletop with her pencil. "Let's see. How should I word this. OK. Which of the following refers to one who gathers enemy secrets by listening to rumors and gossip, A) _Kusamono_. B) _Kikimonoyaku. C) Kyodan_. D) _Kakashi. _E) _Kobushikata_.

"Ahhhh-hhh-hh-h… to be immortalized as a wrong choice. How fitting." Kakashi sighed like a bad actor. He flipped through his book, looking for something to do until he worked up the desire to return to his stack of questions.

"Yes. Fitting." Kurenai tapped the pencil eraser against her chin, fighting the temptation to nibble on it. "Kaze Arashi Ryu, the Wind Storm Tradition, is a system of combat for use against multiple skilled opponents. The empty hand arts and weapons arts include which of the following. A) _Aiki Ju Jutsu. _B) _Atemi Jutsu. _C) _Ken Jutsu. _D) _Jo-Bo Jutsu._ E) _All of the above._

"Aiki Ju Jutsu techniques are swift, efficient, and powerful, while exhibiting grace and beauty. Much like someone I can think of," Kakashi said, smiling when Kurenai blushed and then made an angry gesture. "Four days will quickly steep themselves in night; four nights will quickly dream away the time; and then the moon, like to a silver bow  
New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night of our tryst." He smiled under his mask. He might be the last person that anyone expected to spout poetry. That's precisely why he was doing it now.

"Let me tell you something about that tryst." Kurenai took out the small parasol, fought a smile, and then shook a finger at her fellow ninja. She felt a pang of guilt, pictured her late lover's face, and then shook it away. "If you consult that book just once during our date, it will be our _last_ date." She leafed through a few more sheets of questions before continuing. "If any of the other women find out you were doing that, it might be the last date you _ever_ get." She grinned an evil grin. "Except maybe Anko. I think she dreams of you some nights."

Kakashi began choking on a sip of cocktail he had just taken. He had to cough before speaking. "Tis torture, and not mercy: heaven is there, where Anko lives; and every cat and dog and little mouse, every unworthy thing, live there in heaven and may look on her; but Hatake Kakashi may not." He shuddered. Anko conjured different image at different times, either as a fetching leather-clad temptress, or a snake dressed in a revealing dress. She was the last woman in Konoha that he would go out with, unless he was very desperate, very horny, and very drunk.

"How very tragic," Kurenai said, grinning at the act that the Copy Ninja put on. She was well aware that he was a jokester and free spirit at times; but, she never would have guessed that he had this lighter side. "Alack, and fie for shame! Young men will do it if they come to it. By cock, they are to blame. Quoth she, 'Before you tumbled me, you promised me to wed.' He answers, 'So would I have done, by yonder sun, an thou hadst not come to my bed'." She sighed, and fluttered her hand dramatically. "I might have lost my heart in just such a fashion, had I not learned of your love for Anko beforehand." Well, that ought to show him that two can play at the same game. "Be certain that I'll tell Anko how you feel."

Kakashi put his book away. "Don't even joke that way!" He shivered. "Are you looking to take over Ibiki's job, saying something like that?" He shook his head. "Rumor has it that he really got his scars on a date with that Mitarashi woman."

There was a rapping on Kakashi's front door. It was rather forceful, not the timid or respectful knock that any of the shinobi other than Naruto might make.

"If that's Anko, I'll gladly leave.…" Kurenai smiled. When Kakashi opened the door, she was as surprised as he was.

"Hatake Kakashi, may I speak with you." It was Hyuuga Hiashi. He looked very intense. But, that was nothing new. "I had great respect for your father. Word is that you are equally worthy of respect."

Kakashi showed the clan leader into his home, and offered him tea, which he politely refused. He, Kurenai, and Hiashi exchanged ritual pleasantries before the older man brought up the reason for his unexpected visit.

"I come here fully and truly vexed, because of my eldest daughter." Hiashi looked over at Kurenai, to whom he had handed the care of his child back when he washed his hands of her. "As a clan chief with the responsibility to strengthen the family as best I can, I plan to wed my daughter to a suitable husband." He turned to look at Kakashi. "You are the team leader for two boys that stand at the center of this. I am hoping that your words will help them see the necessity of my plan."

Kurenai and Kakashi exchanged glances. They would rather bring the dead members of Akatsuki back to life and fight them alone, naked and blindfolded, instead of getting caught up in whatever machinations Hyuuga Hiashi was involved with.

"I… well…" Kakashi wondered if Hiashi had come here of his own accord, or with the blessings of the Hokage and the village council. "You _know… _Kurenai has a very good relationship with Hinata. Her words might be even more important than mine." He swallowed hard, seeing the look on the other jounin's face.

"Stand forth, Uchiha Sasuke," Hiashi said. The dark-haired boy did as he was requested. "This man has my consent to marry my daughter." His satisfied smile gave way to a look of sheer displeasure and disdain. "Stand forth, Uzumaki Naruto." An extremely sour look on his face, Naruto did just that, despite Hiashi's order. "The otherboy has bewitched my daughter in some fashion, stealing the impression of her fantasy, turning her heart and obedience against me, her lord and father."

"I think the fact that she wasn't good enough for you, and you kicked her out of the house, was what turned her heart against you." Naruto shook off the hands that the Hyuuga guardsmen tried to place on him. He was no longer at the Hyuuga estates. They would touch him again at their own risk! "Somehow I doubt that my support of her, or the way that her life and hers cousin's have turned around for the better, really counts as bewitching. That's just my Way of the Ninja. " He looked out through the door. "No. Not just mine. It's _our _Ninja Way."

Hinata walked in the room, looking very upset. She refused to meet her father's gaze as she hurried to stand near Naruto. Behind her, a number of Kemai Butai shouldered their way past the Hyuuga retainers, wanting to bear witness to the proceedings.

Kakashi looked at the growing crowd and closed his only visible eye. Just how serious _were _things? Did the presence of the Konoha constables suggest that Naruto had committed some kind of crime in response to Hiashi's demands, or indicate that some grand and glorious legal pronouncement was pending the puffed-up man's pleasure?

"Your insolence would not serve your case well, if you so much as had a case." Hiashi said to Naruto. He nodded to Sasuke, and then addressed Kakashi. "As it is within my rights as Hyuuga clan head, I invoked the ancient privilege of our ancestral homeland. By those old laws, my daughter is mine, to dispose of as I choose."

That word 'dispose' had Hinata cringing. Naruto made a low guttural sound in the back of his throat. Kurenai brought a hand to her mouth. A sweat drop formed at the side of Kakashi's face, before soaking into his mask.

"I can choose to give her to either of these gentleman, or neither, however I see fit!" Hiashi looked Hinata for a few moments, angry at her prior refusal. "If she fails to accept my choice, I have the right to put her to death, immediately if need be." He didn't bat an eye. Even though he did love his daughter after his own fashion, he would forfeit her life, in order to maintain the tenet of strict obedience that he saw as crucial to his clan's survival in this changing day and age. There had been far too many cracks appearing in the proud traditions, the ones he had been charged with protecting.

"Hinata, do you want to marry anyone at this time?" Kurenai knew how much Naruto meant to her former pupil. But, she also knew that her friend was emotionally young for her age. Even if she wasn't, very few shinobi even began considering the idea of marriage while they were nineteen years old.

Hinata shook her head. "N-No. I do n-not. Naruto and I only began dating a f-few months ago." That had been a dream come true for her. Now, she felt as if she had been plucked out of the real world and dropped into a nightmare.

"It matters not, whether or not she wishes to wed," Hiashi said, somewhat testily. He was acting within his legal rights. No one should question his right, or disobey his word. "It is immaterial if some unremarkable boy has given her rhymes, sung by her window in the moonlight, or exchanged love tokens with her." Those words had everyone but him blinking rapidly. No one could picture Naruto doing those things. Then again, how many of them would have pictured the Copy Ninja quoting poetry?

"I see," Kakashi said, looking over at Sasuke, who had yet to utter a single word. "Did Sasuke approach your clan with the idea of marriage? Or, was this your way to seek an advantageous alliance, Sir?" He knew how important the Uchiha clan was to Sasuke. Now that Itachi was dead, the young man's focus had shifted to the idea of starting things over again. He had the support of the village elders, seeing how valuable an asset that family's Blood Limit was.

"When the young man returned to Konoha, and the full nature of the hardships he had been laboring under came to light, I was one of the first family leaders to sponsor his chance at redemption, and to have hope for his restoration." Hiashi stood taller. Before the village spin doctors had worked their magic, he had been one of the first calling for the former missing-nin's involuntary exile. "It…."

"Hardships, my ass." Naruto sneered. He was not about to watch his choice of words. "His clan was wiped out by his psychopathic brother. He damn near went psycho himself, all caught up with revenge. He got stuck with a curse seal by that bastard Orochimaru, but still decided to seek the jerk out so he could become stronger, even though the creepy jerk had promised to destroy the village, and would become incredibly strong if he took over Sasuke's body." He remembered the sadness he had felt, back when his friend had tried to kill him and Sakura, stating that he didn't care if the evil Sannin took over his body, if that was what it took for him to have his revenge.

Naruto glared at Sasuke. Sasuke gave him a look of total apathy. That made Naruto even angrier. He knew that the other boy had been through a lot. So what? He had been through a lot, too!

"You of all people should never speak of someone putting the Leaf at risk," Hiashi said to Naruto. He had to clench his hands and clamp his lips closed, so that he didn't make mention of the Kyuubi. "In truth, you have very little to offer this village of ours other than boasts, while Uchiha Sasuke is the head of a famous clan, one with a Blood Limit that would be sorely missed should the family line die out all together."

"Don't even _go_ there!" Naruto clenched his teeth. Hinata didn't know about his relationship to Nine Tails. Just as he had been the last to know about her crush on him, she was the remaining member of the Rookie Nine who had yet to stumble on his guarded secret. It looked as if he would have to tell her that secret sometime soon. "I had things done to me that I never asked for, too. But, instead of taking things out on the people around me, or looking for some way to take vengeance on the people who treated me like dirt, I worked hard to get better. Just who do you think it was who risked his life trying to stop Sasuke from leaving in the first place? Who played the major role bringing him back?" he folded his arms across his chest and lifted his chin a smidgen. "Guess!"

"Naruto…." Kakakshi held up his hand. He realized sadly that nothing Naruto could say would change Hiashi's mind, even if it were said in a calm and respectful manner. But, the last thing that any of them needed was Hiashi worked up to such a degree that he acted out of anger and spite alone. As a clan leader, the man had a great deal of political and legal power at his command.

"Kakashi-sensei… but it's… this isn't… he's…." Naruto twitched. "Hinata…she's…." Naruto pleaded with his eyes. He felt as if he was ready to explode. If anyone would help him, it would be Kakashi. Right?

"This is all so very instructive," Hiashi said with an imperious smirk. "You can see which boy stands honorably, and which miscreant looks ready to start a confrontation in your very home." The older man's face hardened, looking as if it had been chipped off of a block of flint. "Seeing that you've spent time training the Uchiha boy in private, I have no doubt that you are well aware of his greater potential." He knew that the Copy Ninja had been spending a great deal of time with Sasuke, trying to learn what skills he had learned from Orochimaru, and wanting to find out just where his heart and loyalty lay.

"Let me work through this, if I may." Kakashi tried to frame his thoughts. He caught Kurenai's eye, and gave her a meaningful look. She nodded, and went to whisper in Hinata's ears, trying to sooth the nervous girl. He looked over at his younger teammate. "Naruto. I will ask you to behave like a shinobi of this village. If you can't do that, you will show everyone that Jiraiya's efforts and my hard work were for nothing. You will have me thinking that Hyuuga Hiashi is correct in his judgment of you." That was harsh, but he hoped it might have Naruto exercising better restraint.

"But…." Naruto trembled. His face changed colors and his breathing quickened. Making a Herculean effort, he brought himself under control and nodded his head. He turned a questing look on Sasuke, wondering why his friend was going along with this. It wasn't all that difficult to figure out. A reborn Uchiha clan, under the protection of the Hyuugas, would be a tremendous blessing to his teammate. But, was this newest obsession going to prove even more costly than his actions as an avenger? Not for the first time, he wished that he knew how he could crack through the cocoon of pain that the other boy had spun around himself.

Hinata stared at Kakashi in disbelief. Tears came to her eyes, despite Kurenai's assurance that Kakashi would try to do what was right and fair. She was too upset to think things through at that moment. Mind jumbled, there was no way she could fathom that the Copy Ninja was working for her best interest when all was said and done.

"Now… Hinata…." Kakashi turned and spread his arms wide, as if trying to calm a young child by offering her the wisdom of an adult. "Let's think this through as an adult… and… a _kunoichi_ sworn to protect this village."

Hiashi smiled in approval. He really didn't want to see his daughter die. But, he couldn't allow anyone to defy him, not even one of his children. If she listened to Hatake Kakashi, a terrible tragedy would be avoided.

"I know you had difficult times in your childhood," Kakashi said. "But, you saw them through the eyes of a child, not with the vision of someone who is looking out for what's best for an entire clan." He was relieved when Hinata stood tall, wiping away her tears. He hoped that Naruto would continue to hold his tongue. "But, after making genin and then chuunin, you have seen why it may be necessary for one person to give up his life for others. I have no doubt that you would do that for your teammates and friends."

"Y-Y-Yes…" Hinata nodded. "But… they would do it for m-me too… since I'm important to them…" She looked up at her father, her words an indirect challenge to him. Had she _ever_ been important to him? Or, were those romanticized dreams of a little girl?

"You can say that again!" Naruto said, ignoring Kurenai's shushing. Hiashi had already gone stiff after hearing his daughter's words. He made a show of straightening his robes to cover his reaction.

"Kurenai has told me that your life improved, once you returned to living under the same roof as your family." Kakashi paced about rubbing his chin, acting as if he were deep in thought. "Believe me, I'm not the only one in this room to know about the importance of having a family. I would gladly make great sacrifices, if doing so would bring my parents back."

Sasuke stood unmoving, his eyes following Kakashi. The mention of family had him thinking back to the time that he had seen his mother and father dead at his brother's hand.

"I wish I could… ummm… I wish I could bring my m-mother back…" Hinata's words came out in a rush. "I wish my father… I wish things could be the same when my mother was still alive…"

"It's hard to grow up," Kakashi said. "It's hard to lose family." He looked over at Sasuke, wondering if the boy would ever return to the way he was before. Without the burden of vengeance, he could go on to great things. If. And it was a big if. If he could somehow learn to treasure people the way that Naruto did. "It's hard to see your friends taken from you." He tapped his forehead protector over the eye that his teammate Rin had taken from Obito and placed where his own ruined eye once was. "But, growing older brings its own rewards, in addition to difficult challenges." He paused. It wasn't easy, playing this game. He had to act like a puppeteer, tugging on emotions. "Wouldn't you like to be a mother some day?"

Kurenai held her breath. She wondered just what Kakashi had in mind. He was walking a razor sharp line. If he wasn't careful, he might sway Hinata closer to accepting her father's demands. That wasn't his goal, _was_ it?

"Y-Yes.…" Hinata looked over at Nauto. Seeing that, he immediately looked away, counting the number of tiles on Kakashi's ceiling. "B-But… I want to raise my children with love. I do not want to t-t-turn them into possessions…." She had trouble looking over at Sasuke or Hiashi. "I don't want… it's not my dream…" She fought back a sob. "_My_ life matters too…"

"I'm certain that you would love your children either way," the Copy Ninja said. "Love is very important. But, don't forget that laws are what make our village possible. As ninjas, we are expected to uphold those laws. If we fail to do that, we would lose the trust of the ones we fight for."

"Yes… but…" Hinata brought a hand to her mouth.

"Who's going to look out for _our_ best interest?" Naruto grimaced. "If…"

"Be quiet." Kurenai said, moving to talk with the irritable young shinobi. _"Shhh-hh-h.…"_

"Your father has chosen someone for you that every girl in the village once dreamed about. He is a worthy young man, and his talents would benefit your family… you… and the children you might have with him." Kakashi watched as Kurenai strained to hold Naruto in check. "He's done all that for you, in addition to feeding you and giving you shelter." He coughed. His muse took over. "Shouldn't he be unto you as a god, one that composed your beauties, and one to whom you are like wax, to be figured or disfigured as he sees fit?" Those words weren't his own, but they sounded dramatic. Hiashi ought to like that. Let the man think that things were going his way.

"Well spoken," Hiashi said. "Very well put!"

"Kakashi… I thought you were my friend…" Naruto let out a small yelp when Kurenai pricked him with the pencil she had been using earlier. He rubbed his aching buttock with a black look on his face.

"There _are _some that would see Sasuke as worthy." Hinata's voice made it quite plain that she was not one of them. That had Sasuke's eyes looking vulnerable for the briefest of moments, before they once again seemed more appropriate on a doll or a puppet. "But, Naruto is worthy too!" She blushed, after speaking so forcefully.

"Yes he is," Kakashi said. "Though many do judge him unfairly, by no fault of his own." That had Naruto calming down, pulling at one ear. He would do his best to stay quiet. He had to trust his sensei. "But, in this instance… where your father's wishes are involved… and the good of your clan is at stake… shouldn't Sasuke be seen as even more worthy?"

Hiashi nodded. He had done well to bring his daughter and the two boys out here. The man they called the Copy Ninja was a skilled speaker.

"He wouldn't be seen as more worthy, if my father looked with _my_ eyes." Hinata said.

"But, shouldn't you look with your father's judgment, instead? You never really wanted to be a ninja. Marriage would allow you to live a quiet and safe life again. Is your father correct in his assessment of you, thinking that you are nothing more than a nuisance and a hindrance to the others in your team?"

Kakashi crossed his fingers mentally. If Hinata caved in, seeking an easy way out, his words would have backfired. While nothing that she might say would sway Hyuuga Hiashi today, there were words that needed to be said.

Naruto began growling. No one should say those kind of things about Hinata, not even Kakashi. Orange chakra began swirling around him. His canine teeth felt longer and sharper. Kurenai walked over and got a spray bottle that Kakashi used to water his plants. She dowsed the boy as if he was a misbehaving kitten. Sasuke noticed, rolling his eyes before his usual persona snapped back into place.

"No." Hinata swallowed hard. "I'm… ummm… I'm usually very modest. I don't know why I feel bold enough to say this…."

"It's the truth," Naruto said. "That's why. It usually works for me. I wish it worked for everybody." He spared Sasuke an affronted look. His friend had never lied to him; but, he ought to know right from wrong.

"_Whose _truth?" Hiashi asked with a touch of venom. "A boy who has few manners, and no clan?" He shook his head, wondering why he was bothering to mention something so painfully obvious. "A girl who was bested by her sister, five years her junior? Someone who shows but a fraction of the talent that her cousin does, him a member of the Branch Family?" Hiashi's anger dredged up old memories and unflattering opinions. He was a reasonable man when it came to the members of his clan, but a tyrant when it came to his offspring. In quiet moments, when he put the leader's mantle aside, he often hated himself for that very reason. Maybe it would have been better if Hizashi had been the first twin born.

"If I'm worth so little, father, why would it be good for Sasuke to marry me?" Hinata began rubbing her fingers together, despite great efforts not to. "Is it because you see me as a tool… or a game piece… not a daughter…." Tears fell again. There was nothing that she could do to stop it. Kurenai held Naruto back, telling him that Hinata needed to do this on her own.

Hiashi's eyes widened. His lips twitched. He closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and put on his clan leader's look again.

"I was thrown out of my home… the only place I had ever known…" Hinata swallowed hard. "Only one person showed me kindness at first." She looked over at Kurenai. "Everyone else ignored me. No one cared about a shy, dark weirdo who couldn't meet their eyes."

Naruto shuffled his feet a bit, remembering when he thought that way. It was true. Hinata was growing cuter by the day. But, in the past, she couldn't compare to Sakura and the other girls. And, while her grades had been good, her martial skills had been terrible at the start.

"That's why you should be grateful that a worthy suitor has stepped forth at my invitation," Hiashi said. "Who else… other than a worthless troublemaker with questionable judgment… would seek you out on his own?" His eyelid twitched. He was being dramatic. Truth be told, rumors had it that a number of young men in the Hyuuga clan had been commenting on how attractive she had become.

"Naruto is _not_ worthless," Hinata said with some fire, catching everyone by surprise. "He never had a family. I don't know why he was hated by adults when he a young child. When I watched him, I saw someone else who didn't fit in. But, he never gave up. He never tried to hurt anyone weaker than him. No one saw that… no one but _me_…" She wiped her eyes, and turned to face Naruto instead of Kakashi. "When I was a genin, I didn't do well in my missions, despite excellent training from my sensei. I never put my heart into things… afraid that I would fail… since I didn't have any confidence in myself. My father had decided that I was worthless. I thought he must be right."

"Good job, loser." Naruto muttered under his breath, just loud enough for Hiashi to hear him. "You probably don't even feel guilty for what you did." Hiashi scowled. He was not going to dignify that insult with any kind of response.

"Go on…." Kakashi said softly, when Hinata paused, staring at a small jar of ointment she had removed from her pocket. She held it up and showed Naruto, who gave her a thumbs up.

"I wasn't learning as quickly as Kiba and Shino. I didn't think that I could ever be kunoichi. I thought I would die on a mission before ever becoming chuunin." Hinata sighed. "I never really thought I had what it took tobecome chuunin." She looked at her father. "My cousin Neji had a difficult life, too. But, because he is a genius, one who would later make jounin, he was welcomed back into the family. That's why I was allowed back in. It would have looked bad, if my father's nephew was accepted, but not his eldest daughter."

Hiashi clenched his teeth. It was precisely this kind of self-centered and emotional thinking that made Hinata unfit to be the Hyuuga Heir. To prevent Hanabi from being infected by such nonsense, he had been forced to separate the two sisters until he had enough time to shape his youngest child sufficiently.

"The chuunin exams brought about a lot of important changes, _didn't_ they?" Kurenai spoke up, seeing that Hinata had gone quiet. She had spoken a lot more than she usually did. So had Kakashi for that matter. The irony would have been amusing under different circumstances. They were chattering away like myna birds, but Uzumaki Naruto was being relatively stingy with his words.

"Yes," Hinata said. "When I was paired up against Neji, he tried to injure me severely, despite being the one who had been assigned to protect me. He wore the Hyuuga curse seal because of me. His father died in place of mine, after the Kumo no kuni no Shinobi Gashira was killed while kidnapping me." She squared her shoulders, and then ran a hand through her hair. "Kiba told me to forfeit, if I matched up with my cousin. I would have quit, had Naruto not called out to me. I didn't give in, even when I was close to death. He showed me that I could change. He showed Neji that he wasn't trapped by his destiny."

"What are you trying to say?" Kakashi asked.

"Naruto did that," Hinata replied. "No one else." She looked over at Sasuke. "When the sand demon Shukaku appeared, it was Naruto who stopped him and Gaara, not Sasuke." She looked back at Kakashi. "Naruto even helped change the heart of that strange boy. He later rescued the Kazekage from Akatsuki, while Uchiha Sasuke was still training with Orcohimaru, the killer of Sarutobi, and the enemy of our village."

"Don't forget to mention who brought back Granny Tsunade," Naruto said, sticking out his jaw. He cursed when Kurenai poked him harder with the pencil, breaking it in half.

Sasuke sighed. He would never live that down in some people's eyes. The only thing worse than being held in contempt for his earlier mistakes was being slavishly idolized despite them.

"Some might consider those acts as penance for earlier sins," Hiashi said, unwilling to change his views. "Others would rightfully claim that it was his duty to do what he did. While those actions may have benefited others, but they did nothing to change what he is." In his eyes, Uzumaki Naruto _was _the Kyuubi, not the child serving as the demon's living breathing prison cell.

"You are wrong, father." Hinata shook her head.

"Who are _you_ to judge that?" Hiashi said with a imperious air. "You are nothing more than a child."

"Naruto keeps growing stronger. He d-dreams of being Hokage some day. The Fifth believes in him. She gave him her g-grandfather's necklace, because of who he is." Hinata smiled at Naruto, suddenly feeling exceedingly shy for some reason. "He trained with one of the Legendary Sannin, the man who trained Yondaime. No one can mean to me what he does." Her face fell. It would be very hard to speak the next words. "I know the worst that can happen to me in this case, if I refuse to your choice. That won't change my mind."

"Tell me someone who's stronger than Hinata!" Naruto spoke with a sudden rush of pride. "Having people like _her_ in the village makes being Hokage worthwhile."

"Naruto-kun…." Hinata smiled, despite everything she was being put through. Those words meant everything to her.

"I have a suggestion," Kakashi said to Hiashi. "I would recommend a third choice. Marriage… death… or the cloister." He might not be Shikamaru; but, as a tactician, he had few equals.

"That is very clever," Hiashi said after a few moments of consideration. "It would satisfy each and every point of honor. I will indeed offer my daughter that additional option."

"Huh? Cloister?" Naruto scratched his head. "What the heck is that?" It sounded like some kind of shellfish.

"A place devoted to religious seclusion," Sasuke said, breaking his silence. He couldn't help himself. "Dumbass." For a brief moment, he felt the way he once did, before being bitten by Orochimaru in the Forest of Death. "A monastery, convent, or nunnery."

"How's that, Kakashi-sensei? How would Hinata go on missions, if she had to live in a cloister?" Naruto was still perplexed.

"She wouldn't," Hiashi said. "My daughter would spend her time in religious pursuits… study… or manual labor. It would be a life of poverty… chastity… and obedience." His face softened some. "But, she would be alive."

"Hinata could marry when she quit being a nun, right?" Naruto looked at Kakashi, then Kurenai, and finally at Hinata. "How long would _that_ last?"

"By necessity, it would last until she died," Hiashi said firmly. "If she failed in her noviciate… and was not accepted to the convent… she would be faced immediately with the choice of marriage or death. If she was admitted after her trial period, she would take a lifelong vow to remain there."

"It is not your choice, Naruto." Kakashi spoke firmly. He looked over at Hinata. "To die a sad death. To abjure the society of men forever. Those are two difficult choices. Think what it might be like to endure the livery and barren life of a nun in some shady convent, chanting faint hymns to the cold fruitless moon, withering like a flower on a vine."

"Ahem." Kurenai's cough was indeed a word. Kakashi was laying it on a bit too thick.

"I would rather die or live my life in a monastery," Hinata said quietly, trembling eve5r so slightly. "I won't yield my… ummm… my…" She fought to get the next word out in anything louder than a whisper. "I won't yield my v-virginity to someone my father selects for me against my w-wishes." Her eyes widened. She caught sight of Naruto. He was blushing! "It doesn't matter how many other women might give themselves to a man, if he is not the one I choose."

"I see. That's your heart speaking. Perhaps you need to think with your head." Kakashi rubbed at his chin. "Why don't you take time to consider maters at length, perhaps to the next new moon. I'm certain your father would allow you that much." Kakashi looked over to Hiashi, who grudgingly nodded his head. The clan leader hoped that the Copy Ninja's words would take root and bring his daughter to her senses.

"When we meet again, you should be ready to do one of three things." Kakashi sound stern, as if he were a magistrate passing sentence. "Swear marriage to Sasuke. Give yourself over to an austere and unwed life. Accept death at your own hands, or the hands of someone legally appointed to that task." The Copy Ninja felt a few sweat drops run down his sides from his armpits. It had taken some doing, but he had won a short stay of execution, literally and figuratively speaking.

"You should give in to reason, Hinata." Sasuke said. "You might learn to love me. And, you would be doing what's best for the village we live in." He sounded like he believed what he said. "Naruto, you think things through for once, and yield her to me. What would her life be worth, if she were to die before she came into her own as a woman and a shinobi?"

"You have Hiashi's love, Sasuke." Naruto stuck out his lower lip, sounding belligerent. "Why don't you marry _him?"_

"Scornful boy!" Hiashi glowered. "It's true, he has my favor. What father wouldn't be proud to have his daughter help resurrect the Uchiha clan. And, I can't help but imagine what my grandchildren might be like." He'd had more than his fill of Naruto's insolence. "Be sure I will give my daughter to _him, _should she choose marriage!"

"Pompous old jerk!" Naruto countered. "What daughter would want to have a father like _you?" _He was fed up with selfish honor-bound aristocrats like Hyuuga Hiashi. "Neither Sasuke nor I have a clan. Maybe I don't have some coveted Blood Limit like the Uchihas or Hyuugas; but, I have something that the genius over there does not have." he folded his arms across his chest. "I care about Hinata. I would be true to her if she were ever my wife. Sasuke would only use her to get his children. He'd probably find some way to justify having bastards with other women, so the clan would grow faster."

"Sir, perhaps it would be best if you, Kurenai, and myself continued this discussion amongst ourselves." Kakashi hoped that the man would wave off that suggestion and head home.

"That is a very wise suggestion," Hiashi said. "In fact, I think that I will accept your kind offer of tea now."

Naruto spoke briefly with Kakashi. Hinata had a few words with Kurenai. Sasuke nodded to Hiashi, received the man's nod in return, and then headed off on his own. Shortly thereafter, Hinata and Naruto left.

"Hinata-chan, you look so pale." Naruto observed.

"I feel… I guess I feel like a flower that never gets enough water…" Hinata began crying again. She threw herself into Naruto's arms, catching him by surprise.

"Hey… well… you know… it looks like there's plenty of water now…" Naruto put his hand to Hinata's cheek, bringing it back wet with tears. He didn't know what else to say.

"Yes…" Hinata began sobbing, her body shaking. "I hope you can swim. You might get washed away."

"It will be okay, Hinata-chan. If things were easy, then we would need to be worried. That's just not the way our lives usually go, right?" Naruto sighed. Why did something like this have to happen to Hinata? She was the sweetest person that he knew, bar none. Hadn't the two of them been through more than their fair share of heartache in their short lives? "But… because…" He was interrupted.

"Our Ninja Way," Hinata said, predicting his next comment correctly.

"Uh huh," Naruto said, glad that Hinata knew him so well. "Something will turn up. It always does." He put his chin down on the top of Hinata's head. " I'm going to be Hokage some day. You're going to be there to see it. I promise you."

"Hey!" That was a girl's voice. " Naruto…. Hinata…." It was Sakura. She had just gotten off of her first hospital shift of the day. On her way to get a bite to eat, she had spotted her friends. "Is something wrong?"

"Her father," Naruto answered, his lips curling up. "Him and Sasuke. I almost wish that we didn't bring him back. Maybe the scars aren't worth it after all." The battle against Orochimaru and a new Sound Five had been brutal beyond reckoning. Naruto, Sakura, Sai, and Kakashi had all spent time in the hospital. If Jiraiya hadn't showed up at the end, the Leaf might have lost Team Kakashi in its entirety.

"Why? What happened?" Sakura went on to look shocked and upset, as Naruto and Hinata relayed the recent events. "Sasuke-kun…." The color drained out of her face. She brought a hand to her mouth. "I can't believe that he'd do that." Her eyes misted up. "I don't think that Tsuande would let something like that happen!" She squared her shoulders and then pushed the hair out of her face. "I'll talk to her, Naruto. This just isn't right."

"She probably can't do anything," Hinata said, her voice muffled. "I doubt my father would have done what he did, unless he was certain of his position."

"Maybe," Sakura said, clenching her fists. "But, people were certain that we couldn't bring Sasuke back alive. They were certain that he wouldn't even want to come back." She sighed, thinking back to her days as a genin. "There were plenty of people that looked at me as if I was useless, once." She placed a hand on her friend's arm. "They thought that about you once, too. Right?"

"This probably hurts you too. Right, Sakura-chan?" Naruto looked at his teammate, remembering the days when he had a crush on her. She still had a terrible crush on Sasuke, one that had picked up right where it had left off. "Sasuke doesn't give a damn about love. He just wants to build back what Itachi destroyed. Whatever the cost. That's the only way he can get revenge on his brother now." The elder of the Uchiha brothers had died during one of the battles against Akatsuki.

"We don't know what he went through, Naruto." Sakura rushed to Sasuke's defense automatically, before hanging her head and sighing. "I guess we don't really know who he is, _do_ we? It was hard enough getting close, before." She looked over at Hinata, who had managed to reach out and squeeze her arm in return. "I don't have a strong clan behind me. I wish I did. But, it certainly hasn't been a blessing to you."

"Things like that are going to change someday," Naruto said gruffly. "I already promised Neji that I would make changes in the Hyuuga clan when I was Hokage." He kicked at a stone under his one foot. "I don't care how hard it will be, dealing with all the laws, tradition, and crap."

"You can't change _everything_, you big idiot." Sakura wiped away a tear. "But, I'm glad that won't ever stop you from trying." She looked up at the moon, which was barely visible against the sky. "Life's not always fair. I remember a loudmouthed boy who chased after me. It was 'Sakura-chan' this and 'Sakura-chan that'." She smiled fondly at Naruto. "If I had felt the same way, I would have been very lucky. But, someone else would have been heartbroken." She nodded at Hinata.

"Yeh. Well. It was 'Sasuke-kun' this and 'Sasuke-kun that'," Naruto countered automatically. "Now I wish that he did return your feelings back then." He took a deep sniff. There was a faint scent of Ramen broth on the early evening air. The night time restaurants were getting ready to turn their café lights on. "Now he's hoping to win the hand of a girl that doesn't care about him, but does care about the guy that was once chasing you." He let out an explosive rush of breath. "This is just like one of those damn plays that Hinata drags me to see!" He flinched. "Oh… sorry Hinata-chan… I mean…" He stopped, catching sight of something. A group of city constables were heading their way, turning on their electric lanterns.

"Those men are probably coming to escort me home," Hinata said.

"Maybe Sakura will have to escort the bunch of them to the hospital," Naruto grumped, preparing for Kage Bunshin. Sakura recognized the all too familiar hand seals.

"That won't help anything, numbskull. Honestly!" Sakura made a disgusted face. "You use the same trick for everything. If all you have is a hammer, treat everything like a nail, _right?" _She put out a hand to still Naruto. "Not now!"

"It's alright, Naruto-kun. I'll think things over tonight." Hinata didn't expect to get a single minute of sleep. "We can meet tomorrow and talk." She blushed. Looking at Sakura, her blush deepened even more. "In the forest outside the Great Wall. You know. In the place that.…"

"Oh…." Naruto looked down at his feet and fidgeted some. "Yeh…." He thought back to the last time the two of them had wandered through those woods. "OK." That was where the two of them had shared their first kisses.

After the members of the Kemi Butai apologized and insisted on leading Hinata home, Sakura ran off to tell everyone about the plight of her two friends. That left Naruto standing alone in the street.

He looked up at the faces of the stone Hokages. He thought about the parents he never knew. He wondered why the Fourth had chosen him. This was just one more thing.

"Why me?"


	2. Chapter 2

The door closed on the smallest and most secluded room of the Konoha Recreation Center.

"There's no one else in the building," Sakura said. "I can't stay long. I have a meeting with Tsunade, before going back on shift."

"This is about Hinata, I presume." Neji stood amongst the other members of Team Gai, as the members of Team Eight and Team Ten. Hinata wasn't there. Neither were Naruto or Sasuke.

"Yes," Sakura said. "I expected you to have some idea what was going on. But, you might not have heard the latest. The rest of you won't know anything, unless Neji told you." With that, she passed along everything that she had heard from Naruto and Kakashi.

"**Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h!" **Lee made a fist and hugged it to his chest. "This is not fair. Sasuke may be a good comrade again some day; but, Hinata has no interest in him."

"That's right," Ino said, tugging at the plastic wrap around some flowers that she had been about to deliver before being told about an emergency meeting. "It isn't fair. Her father didn't care enough about her to keep her in his home when she was younger." She looked over at Sakura, feeling a little foolish, thinking back to the way the two of them used to fight over Sasuke. She wouldn't touch him with a ten foot naginata!

"But, now that she serves a purpose for him and the clan, he suddenly lays claim to her. That sucks. That sucks big time!" Kiba clenched his fists, looking ready to eat nails and spit tacks.

"The punishment seems excessive." Shino said, pushing his glasses further up along the bridge of his nose. "Will he really insist on his own daughter's death? How would _that _strengthen the clan?"

"It's all about honor," Ten Ten said. Having spent more and more time with neji, she knew more than she wanted to about Hyuuga Hiashi. _"His _kind of honor, not ours." Feeling an uncontrollable urge to fidget, she worked on one of her hair buns. "I can't imagine what it would be like… sent off to a nunnery somewhere… to spend the rest of her life praying near some lotus pond, sculpted bushes or bonsai."

"Hey. It's no big deal , though. _Right? _She has an easy way out." Kiba's words practically dripped sarcasm. Akamaru barked. "All she has to do is marry someone she doesn't love, and probably doesn't even like."

"Sasuke," Choji said. He had never gotten close to him; but, who ever had? Opening a new snack bag, he remembered what had happened to him when he took the three pills in the fight against Jiroubou. That whole mission had been about bringing Sasuke back to the Leaf. "He's very popular again… with the younger girls…"

Uchiha Sasuke's return had not been met with universal acceptance. But already, he was the object of desire to so many of the village women. Choji wondered why there was no justice in life. A handsome genius can win everyone's hearts, despite his cold and uncaring attitude, while a portly boy who worked hard for his village could be overlooked time and time again.

"There are a lot of stupid people in this village!" Ino looked over at Sakura, expecting her friend to echo those words. Instead, the pink-haired girl looked away, her face troubled. Did she still have some kind of feelings for Sasuke?

"It's worse than simply marrying someone she doesn't like," Shikamaru said. "This kind of thing took place quite often in the distant past. Women were expected to give their husband many children. The men kept them pregnant, but indulged their lust elsewhere as well. If the wives were barren, the husbands would get children through mistresses and concubines."

"If we carve off a piece of Sasuke, he won't be getting anyone pregnant!" Kiba said. "Right Akamaru?" The dog yipped excitedly.

"There are less drastic means," Shino said quietly. "If I were to send enough chakra bugs up through his urethra, they could form an impassible mass in both vasa deferentia, impossible to cure through surgery."

"_Ugggh!" _Ino made a face. "Do we _really_ need to talk about that?"

"We shouldn't forget Naruto," Neji put in. "I doubt he would ever put up with something like this, whether or not my cousin were in love with him. He could be driven to do something that would ruin his reputation, or end up leaving him dead or banished."

"**Ooo-oo-o-o-o-o-o!" **Lee struck a pose unknowingly. "We should _all_ stand up against injustice." The light reflected off of his teeth. **"Ahh-h-h-h-h-h!" **He put one hand on his hip, and the other above his eyebrows. **"**Naruto has fought bravely for this village. Hinata has tried very hard, too. How can the Hokage and the council members allow something like this to happen?"

"I'm afraid the Hokage's hands are tied." Shikamaru sighed, finding this situation more troublesome than anything he had been faced with in a long while. "If she doesn't honor the written and unwritten laws, the village will lose faith in her. There isn't enough time to pass any new legislation before the deadline passes."

"Yeh. The deadline. Why the hell did Kakashi every make a frigging deadline?" Kiba kicked at a folding chair, sending it flying. Akamaru barked, and then pushed up on another empy chair, causing it to collapse and fall. "That was stupid. I thought he was Naruto's friend!"

"He _is," _Sakura said a bit testily, coming to her mentor's defense. "If he hadn't gotten Hinata's father to agree to an extension, the issue would have been settled on the spot. Hinata would be dead, married, or being fitted for a nun's habit as we speak."

"Maybe if we all went to speak to the Hokage…" Ten Ten desperately sought for some kind of solution. "She might back us, if we want to approach Sasuke and ask him to refuse. Hinata's father has no hold over _him. _The vote on his return to Konoha is already over." She spun a kunai nervously in her hand, almost fumbling it.

"Shit. I was only joking before. But maybe we ought to threaten the son of a bitch," Kiba said. He grinned when Akamaru growled. "It's not like he's really one of our comrades again. At least not yet."

"He was never really anyone's comrade," Shino said. Even he was more caring and compassionate around his teammates than Sasuke had been in the past.

"Naruto wouldn't go for that," Sakura said. "Even though Sasuke's actions stand to hurt him too, he holds out hope for Sasuke returning to normal some day. There is no way that he would let anyone threaten a friend. He knows what it's like being ostracized and alone, and won't let that happen to Hinata; but, he won't let anyone do it to Sasuke either."

"That's what makes him worth standing up for," Neji said. "I will try to approach my uncle, even though I know what trouble that might bring me. There are reasons that he wants this alliance, and there are different reasons why he is very much against Naruto." He knew about Kyuubi, but some of the others did not.

"Maybe if we refused to serve with Sasuke," Choji said. "Would the Hokage prevent that from happening, by convincing Sasuke to change his stance?" He shook his head. "That probably wouldn't work."

"_Hmm-m-m-m. _What about taking things a step further? We could talk to all of the genin and chuunin Everyone could refuse to go on missions until either Sasuke or Hyuuga Hiashi changes his mind." Kiba scratched himself. So did Akamaru. "Maybe if Neji made some kind of pledge, his uncle would act to preserve the family honor."

"I would never do that," Neji said. "Not for myself… not for my cousin… and not for my friend." He looked very intense. "I would give my life for Hinata or Naruto; however, I would not play games with duty and obligation."

"**O-oo-ooo-ahh-hhh-hhh!" **Lee folded his arms against his chest. "Neither would I. Kiba, you are a good comrade, but; you shouldn't be talking treason."

"It wouldn't work anyway," Shiakamaru said with a long bored sigh. "The Fifth would never buckle under _any_ kind of pressure, especially not something so minor. And if you made just that kind of threat and we ended up facing a war, you might find yourself hunted by the Oinin as a Nikenin, even if you never left the Leaf."

"My uncle would never give in, either." Neji said. "His honor and standing mean more to him than his life. Not only would he lose face with the shinobi and city council, but any capitulation would seem shameful in the eyes of his clan. Worse, he would appear vulnerable in the eyes of the other great families."

"Ninja… shinobi…" Shikamaru stood up to stretch his legs. "Those words mean 'one who is concealed,' or 'one that endures.' We are frequently faced by things we didn't expect, and wouldn't have chosen. That is very bothersome. But, we have to do our duty."

"But, that doesn't mean we have to give up without a fight!" Sakura looked close to tears. "I have to go now. Please, don't give up. One of you might come up with a good idea!"

"She's right," Kiba said, watching as the medical ninja left. "Duty and honor only go so far. At some point before my clan began working wit dogs, it was one of the families following the way of Bushido. My ancestors would have died before breaking their code of honor. But, all of our families follow the way of Ninpo now. Saving the village comes before honor. Why not saving our friends?"

"I would be very careful before I think about doing anything that might put the Hokage or Konoha at risk." That voice belonged to Kakashi, who walked in with Kurenai. "Just meeting like this might be viewed as a treacherous act by some people. There are dangers in putting friends before one's village."

"Yes, Kiba." Kureani gave her former student a very pointed look. "Kakashi knows that better than anyone, because of his father."

"Sensei?" Shino cocked his head. There was a story there that he didn't know.

"Hatake Sakumo," Kakashi said. "Konoha's White Fang. My father. Once, he was as revered as the Three Sannin." He sighed. "But, despite all of the good that he had done for the Leaf, he ended up taking his own life after failing a mission that cost this village dearly. He had opted to save the lives of his comrades, instead of continuing with that mission."

"We may no longer follow the way of Bushido," Kurenai said. "But, we are all expected to set an example for those below us. Once disgraced, we cannot win back respect by committing suicide, stabbing ourselves in the stomach with his own swords, waiting for our _kaishaku_ to decapitate us. If we were caught doing something disloyal or traitorous, our memories would be stained forever."

Lee swallowed hard and rubbed his neck. Ten Ten put a hand on her belly. Kiba nodded his head and closed his eyes. No one looked too happy. What could any of them do within the bounds of the law and common decency? It was easier for ambitious and unfeeling men to find loopholes in the rules than it was for people of conscience.

"It wouldn't be much of a life being ronin, either." Kakashi put in. "Most ninjas who leave a village do it for selfish reasons. But, some do it because they are disgraced or sought by the law. To be a so-called 'wave man'… wandering aimlessly like the waves of the sea… would be a hard life. You would no longer have a stipend of any kind."

"I would suffer hardships for my friends!" Lee's eyes caught fire. "Money and possessions mean nothing compared to the glowing warmth of friendship." The flames were doused no sooner than they had been lit. "But, I would never do anything to betray my village or my teacher."

"Do the old laws really need to be followed?" Ten Ten hated to think that a rusty old unwritten rule could bring a Hokage to her knees while the attack of an enemy alliance would not.. "Why can't someone simply decide that they no longer fit the times?"

"There are old ways, and there are old laws. The former simply change over time," Shikamaru said. "Our ancestors were expected to be adept at dancing, literature, poetry, and the Tea Ceremony."

"Shit! I can just imagine Naruto reciting poetry!" Kiba smiled despite himself.

"He would probably use noodles instead of tea," Ino said, causing some of the others to laugh.

"Right. Instead of being polite, graceful, and charming as one must in Chan-yo-nu, he'd be noisy, unpredictable, and crude." Ten Ten shook her head, not wanting to picture Naruto's version of the traditional art. "Just like during Kiba's first chuunin exam."

"Why does everyone have to remind me of that?" Kiba grumped. They wouldn't find it so funny, if someone broke wind in their face when they had concentrated chakra to their nose!

"We no longer follow _Shūdō_ either," Kakashi said. "Except for maybe Gai." Kakashi smiled under his mask, if his crinkled eyelid was any indication. "He does seem rather close to Lee."

"Kakashi!" Kurenai frowned and shook her head.

"_Shūdō_?" Lee scratched his head, a puzzle look on his face.

"It was the tradition of love bonds between a seasoned warrior and a novice warrior, something much along the same lines as educational Greek pederasty." Neji had read extensively on the history of his ancestors. Some of the older practices had him glad he was born into this generation. "Once, it was an honored and important practice in warrior society. It was one of the main ways in which the ethos and the skills of the warrior tradition were passed down from one generation to another. Another name for it was _bidō_, the beautiful way. The devotion that the two warriors would have for each other would be almost as great as devotion they had to their daimyo."

"Two… two…" Lee swallowed hard. "Two _men?" _Lee's eyes went wider than usual, a feat that his friends viewed as amazing as the forbidden Lotus technique.

"Yes," Kakashi said. "Don't worry, I was just joking. The fact that you and Gai look alike… dress alike… act alike… and spend so much time together… really doesn't mean anything."

"Neither does the fact that Gai probably hasn't had a date with a woman in over a year." Kurenai smiled, following Kakashi's lead. She shouldn't do that. He was setting a bad example for her.

"Kurenai!" Kakashi made a 'tsk tsk' noise with his tongue.

"They're just teasing you, Lee." Ten Ten frowned. "You know sensei better than anyone here, even me and Neji. If you see no reason to doubt, why should anyone else?"

"**Oh-h-h-h-h. **That's right!" Lee felt relieved.

"As I was saying, old ways change," Shikamaru said. "Our ancestors started off as mercenaries in the employ of an emperor or noble _kuge_. But, they gathered enough power to usurp the aristocracy and establish a warrior-dominated government. Because the powerful families like the Hyuugas had descended from royalty, their unwritten laws carried the same weight anything drawn up by the new governments. While that tradition continues, the Hokages have managed to establish laws that superceded most of the family precedents, since some of the old privileges gave unfair advantages to the older families."

"Unfortunately, some things have slipped through the cracks," Kurenai mentioned. "Trust Hiashi to be able to be aware of such a remaining law when it suits him best."

"This is just so tragic!" Ino said, feeling a strong urge to shout. "It reminds me of that Romeo and Juliet play. Or the story of Pyramus and Thisbe."

"Who?" Lee asked. Having spent so much of his young life practicing, in order to make up for his lack of Ninjutsu and Genjutsu skills, he never had much use for recent books or classic literature.

"They were two youths living in the city of Babylon, newly founded by Queen Semiramis. At the time, the city was surrounded by a wall made of baked brick and bitumen bound with iron, considered one of the wonders of the world." Ino loved to read tragic romance stories.

"Probably one of those tear-jerkers," Kiba said quietly to Shino, pretending to wipe at his eyes.

"Indubitably," Shino said.

"_Shhh!" _Ten Ten shushed.

"Another wall separated the houses of Pyramus and Thisbe, which were side by side." Ino's voice grew louder and more excited. She was getting into it. "The young man and the girl loved each other, and would have married, but their parents forbade. Not having a go-between, they communicated by nods and signs. Later, they discovered a slender chink in the wall, and they talked to each other until night came, printing in each side of the wall the kisses they were prevented to give each other."

Ten Ten sighed, daring Kiba to say anything. Lee looked misty-eyed until he caught everyone looking at him. Shikamaru shook his head and sighed, wanting to go home. Instead, he put his hands together and began thinking.

"Not being able to endure the separation, they decided to escape one night and to meet at a famous tomb under the shade of a mulberry tree." Ino put her hand over her heart. "Thisbe was the first to arrive with her face well veiled; but, as she was waiting for Pyramus, a lioness came for water at a nearby spring. Her jaws dripped with the blood of the cattle she had slain. Seeing the beast, Thisbe escaped to a near by cavern; but, as she hastened to elude the beast, she left her cloak on the ground behind her."

"Let me guess… the boy found the cloak… he thought the girl was dead… and then…" Kiba had not come to listen to this kind of stuff. How was his helping Hinata or Naruto?"

"**SHH-H-H-H**…" This time it was Kurenai who had spoken. She nodded to Ino and smiled at Ten Ten. Choji walked over and offered all of them snacks.

"The lioness quenched her thirst and by chance came upon the cloak, tearing it with her bloody jaws. A little later Pyramus arrived, and seeing the lioness and the cloak, he assumed Thisbe to be dead. In desperation, grief, and guilt, plunged he his sword into his side, drawing it straightaway from the wound. As he lay stretched, the jets of blood leaped high, turning the white fruit of the tree dark red."

"What are you doing?" Kurenai asked Kakashi, who had taken out his Icha Icha book.

"Looking for the story of Thisbe and Pyramus," the Copy Ninja lied. "I got lost in Ino's telling."

"Liar." Kurenai said.

"**SHHH**… **SHHH**… **_SHH-HHH-HHH_**…" Kiba shushed Kurenai.

"Kiba," Neji said. "The sooner you let them finish, the sooner we can return to business."

"When Thisbe came out of her hiding, fearing that her lover would miss her, she found Pyramus lying under a tree that looked different than she remembered." Ino said. "Pyramus saw her in a last effort, speaking small words to her before dying. At his death, Thisbe lamented:

'_O wretched parents, mine and his, grant those whom love and death has joined to be laid together in the same tomb. O tree, who now shade with your branches the poor body of one, and soon will shade two, keep the marks of our death and always bear your fruit of a dark color as a memorial of our double death.'_"

Ino sniffed, and tossed her hair. She cleared her throat. "Having said that, she took the sword and killed herself. The remains of both funeral pyres rest together in the same urn. Ever since that time, the color of the mulberry fruit is dark red when ripe."

"Well, do you _really_ think that Naruto would throw himself on a sword if Hinata died?" Kiba shook his head. "He'd be more likely to break in the armory, find something very sharp, and then go after her father!"

"It's Hinata I'm worried most about," Kurenai said. "She's been dreaming about Naruto for years. I have no doubt that she would accept death before allowing any marriage to Sasuke to go through. If she's feeling depressed enough, she might choose death rather than spending her life in a convent."

"But, that doesn't make sense. If she lived, there would be a chance that she could break her vows and return home if her father died, or if the rules changed." Lee said.

"Shit! I could see that idiot Naruto sneaking off to see her at a nunnery," Kiba said, shaking his head. "He'd probably dress up as one of the sisters, or use that damn Sexy No Jutsu look as a disguise."

"The nearest abbey is just outside of the Hidden Village of Mist, in the Country of Water. To get there, he would need to leave the Fire Country without permission, risking being named a Missing Ninja." Neji rested his chin on his steepled hands.

"That would be just like him," Ino said, shaking her head and making a face. "He just started dating her a short while ago; but, he'd risk everything for her." She smiled reluctantly. Naruto might not be her idea of the perfect man; but, he certainly had characteristics that she wished other men had. She also wished that some guy would take an interest in her. No, not just some guy. Biting her lip, she stared over at Shikamaru.

"He'd probably end up dead, just like Leander did." Ten Ten sighed. If he couldn't sneak aboard a ship without being caught, he'd probably try to swim, or make a boat out of clones."

"Who?" Choji asked. "Was he a shinobi of the Leaf?"

"I'll look it up," Kakashi lied again, flipping through his book. Kurenai reached over, took it, and stuffed it in her weapons bag.

"There was a priestess of Aphrodite named Hero." Ten Ten said." She…"

"Shit. A girl named 'Hero.' Great." Kiba laughed. "I thought we were finished with that story stuff." He stopped when Kurenai crossed her arms and made a rather stern looking face.

"Hero lived chastely at the edge of Sestus in a high tower by the sea, all alone but for a single maid, by the wish of her parents." Ten Ten scowled. "Parents in the tragedies always start the trouble!" She shook her head angrily, thinking about how her own parents didn't get along too well with the Hyuuga clan, and how that might interefere with her feelings for Neji. "She turned away the hoards of men who made a pilgrimage just to see her beauty. One youth by the name of Leander won her heart. He did it merely by making courtly gestures, and meeting her gaze with his own. _That's _how love should work, without a single word."

Ino sighed at the same time Ten Ten and Kurenai did. Lee sighed as well, thinking of Sakura first, and Ten Ten second. He blushed red when Neji turned to look at him.

"OK. Skip to the end. How do Hero and Leander end up pushing up daisies, feeding the crows, and ending the story? And what does this have to do with Hinata and Naruto?" Kiba looked at his watch. Akamaru was making the face that meant he needed to find some shrubbery or a fire hydrant real soon.

"When they took each other's hands, Leander finally spoke." Ten Ten continued. "He prayed for her to take pity on his desire. He kissed her throat, and said that Aphrodite takes no pleasure in virgins. He claimed that he had been shot down by Love, and declared that she was like a goddess for him."

"Wow. Smooth operator." Kiba smiled. "I guess I can listen a little longer."

"I'm thrilled," Ten Ten said dryly. "At first, Hero protested and threatened him. Smart girl." She met Ino's gaze and nodded. "But eventually, she went speechless, trembling at his beauty. She was driven to say :

'_Stranger, likely with your words you might rouse even a stone'."_

"Probably roused his own stone too," Shino said. Everyone froze, hearing that from him. Even Kakashi looked stunned before closing his visible eye and smiling. Lee had to sit down.

"Can I have my book for a moment. I really need to write that one down." Kakashi took a step back and raised his hands when Kurenai made a small noise deep in her throat.

"**Ahem! **_Anyway!" _Ten Ten was still staring at Shino in disbelief. "Hero used to light a lamp at the top of her tower every night, turning her abode into a lighthouse. Leander, guided by that light, would swim more than thirteen hundred meters across the strong currents of the Hellespont. During each day, they prayed for darkness to come soon; for while all others slept they found great joy and delight in each other's company."

"So, what happened?" Ino looked over-eager again, having found another story to treasure.

"They secretly wed. Hero, fearing her parents, lived a maiden by day and a wife by night. That unstable arrangement ended when winter came. The sea changed and even the sailors drew up their ships. But, Leander's love was not hindered by the frosty weather, and he fought the fierce waves blown up by the winds Eurus, Zephyrus, Boreas, and Notus. One such night, Leander found himself at sea in the middle of such a windy war. A gust blew out the lamp in Hero's tower. Left in the dark without landmarks, Leander lost his way and perished."

"What did Hero do?" Choji asked, munching away at a furious pace.

"The next day, Leander's body reached the foot of the tower. When Hero saw him flayed by the rocks, she tore her robe from her body and cast herself down from the tower, her dead body remaining beside his."

"Maybe Naruto and Hinata should get secretly married," Shino said. "There is no law against that."

"No, there is not." Kakashi had somehow gotten his book back from Kurnai. The look on the other jounin's face promised trouble. "But, it would not change the decree that Hiashi made."

"And, while marrying Naruto might be better than marrying Sasuke, Hinata is not ready for marriage yet." Kurenai still couldn't believe the situation her friend found herself in.

"That's the problem with plays and stories," Neji said. "They can help us imagine the kinds of bad things that can happen. But, they don't offer up any kind of plan." He looked over at Ten Ten who shrugged apologetically.

"I wouldn't be so sure." That came from Shikamaru. He was still sitting with his hands held in that peculiar way, fingertips against fingertips.

"What? Do you have a plan?" Lee and Ino asked that at the exact same time. Both had a very intense look in their eyes.

"It's a long shot," Shikamaru said. "So, it might mean a lot of work for nothing. But, the trouble that our fellow shinobi face is even more bothersome. The Fifth might never act on some kind of official plea or petition. She might not risk censure just for Hinata, and maybe not even for Naruto and that necklace he wears." He rubbed his chin. "Unless the situation was very emotional, and threatened to grow in severity."

"You are speaking about putting on our own play," Kakashi said. "A big act, without ever clueing Tsunade into the truth? We find some spot to talk loudly and argue amongst ourselves, overheard by her? Then we worry about Naruto's threats to kill himself and maybe Hiashi, or about his plans to run away to see Hinata at the nunnery. Some of us talk about going after Naruto. Something like that."

"That's so reckless," Kurenai said. "If the Hokage finds out that she was tricked into taking action, I shudder to think what she might do." She didn't want to be on the bad end of one of Tsunade's tantrums. "We would need to come up with a very good act, with some hook that would prompt her hand. Even more important, we would need to find a way to be overheard without seeming too obvious."

"Yes," Shikamaru said. "We will need to practice our ideas. But first, we would need a place we wouldn't be overheard in… preferably outside of the village…"

"I know a place," Shino said.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

_Some people have mentioned 'Romeo & Juliet.' Right playwright. Wrong play._

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Rays of light shone down through the rare holes in the forest canopy.

It almost looked like a dream setting, or some kind of Fairy Land. Birds chirped high in the branches. A gentle breeze swayed branches and set groups of flower nodding their petaled heads.

Something seemed out of place in that peaceful idyllic setting. No, not something. Someone. Brows furrowed and mouth muttering, Anko walked through the undergrowth looking for someone.

"This had better be important," the jounin said. "If it turns out to be some cheap trick, that old bastard will wish he was never born. I don't care how powerful he is. If he makes even the slightest attempt to put the moves on me, he's going to be walking funny for a long time!"

Anko stopped. She listened carefully. There was no doubt about it: she was not alone. Was the person quietly approaching her position the one she was looking for? If not, who might it be? If it turned out to be a spy, the afternoon might prove more fun than she had expected.

It wasn't a spy or enemy scout. Anko recognized her fellow jounin easily enough. The questions still remained: what was he doing out here, moving as if he was the perimeter person in a screening operation?

"_Psssst! _Izumo…" Anko threw a small rock that she picked of the ground and then stepped out of concealment and motioned to her fellow jounin. "What are _you _doing here?" She listened carefully, wondering if anyone else was near.

"I might ask you the same, Anko. I didn't see your name on the duty roster." Izumo shrugged. "Then again, my name isn't there either, since I'm not officially here."

"I asked first," Anko replied, getting one of her looks. She rubbed one hand over the site of her curse seal. "Is this an unofficial training mission, or are you guarding someone or something important?" Her eyes narrowed. She loved a good mystery.

"Genma, Koetetsu, and a few others were asked to come out here with the Fifth." He sighed. "She's been wandering over hill and over dale, through bushes and briars, flitting here and there like she's some kind of brownie queen or something." He shook his head. "She's meeting with a number of council members in secret, including Utatane Koharu and Mitokado Homura. I'm not certain what they're talking about, or why it has to be kept under wraps."

"_Hmmmm." _Anko licked her lips. That might be an interesting secret to find out. Having heard some of the rumors, she had a good idea what it might be. In fact, that was probably the reason that she herself had been asked to come out here today. "What about the ANBU?" The Black Ops squads were often used to protect dignitaries, not just carry out assassinations and especially difficult missions. If the _Ansatu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai _were roaming the forest, she might find herself in trouble.

"No," Izumo said, shaking his head. "Uzuki Yugoa is here, tiptoeing through the cowslips with us." He snorted sarcastically. "But, she's here as a personal favor to the Hokage, _not_ as an ANBU member." He frowned. "I don't know what might have convinced her to come. She's still mourning over Hayate after all this time." He listened himself. "I need to move on. So, fair's fair. Why are you here?" He looked somewhat suspicious. "If it's something that goes against my mission…"

"Don't worry your pretty little face." Anko reached out and tweaked her fellow jounin's cheek, knowing it would piss him off. "Jiraiya is very angry about something, and asked me to meet him out here. No doubt he has some kind of sneaky scheme in mind. If he asks me to model lingerie for him again, you can lead the _Konoha Kemai Butai _to look for his body when he goes missing." The look on the other ninja's face had her smiling. "I would suggest you keep an eye out for him. He's probably the last person that Tsunade would want to see…"

"I hope you're not planning on getting involved in some kind of mischief, Anko." Izumo turned to leave. "Not everyone knows about your Puckish attitude, since they are much more aware of… you know… your _other _reputation…"

"I'm no merry wanderer of the night," Anko said scowling. She liked her darker reputation, even though she hated what Orochimaru's had done to her, throwing her away like she was yesterdays' newspaper. "But, I have to admit it _is_ fun to sneak a live crab into some sots soup bowl, if he does something to piss me off. I'd much rather show my displeasure in much more conventional means." She spun a sharpened kunai around her finger.

"_Shhhhh." _Izumo listened intently. "I hear the Fifth. But…" He listened longer. "Oh shit!"

"You're right. Jiraiya's coming too. What are the chances of _this_ happening?" Anko kept a straight face; but, her eyes lit up. This might be amusing. She watched as Izumo vanished. Taking to the trees, she pushed a leafy branch out of her way and looked below.

"Well met by sunlight, Tsunade." Jiraiya walked out into a small clearing boldly, rather than choosing to spy on his former teammate. While he wondered just what the Hokage might be doing traipsing through the woods, he would rather rile her up a bit than sit quietly by listening for clues. Hopefully her presence wouldn't ruin the plan he had in mind. "Although… as you know… I'd rather see you in the moonlight." That would tick her off.

"**What!" **Tsunade's face quickly clouded over. She was glad that the councilors that she was waiting to meet with had been shinobi earlier in their lives. Two of them had been teammates of Sarutobi. They should have no trouble avoiding the scruffy lout in front of her. "Why the hell are you out here? Meeting with some poor innocent girl, hoping to trick her out of her secrets, so you can put them in your next book?"

"Would I be that rash and wanton?" Jiraiya scratched his head, fluffing his enormous mane. _"Ahh-h-h-h. _But you found me out. I _am_ here to meet with some sweet young thing. She is so dainty and shy. There was no way that she'd meet with me in town." He grinned. If Anko was listening somewhere, that would have her steaming, wondering just what game he was playing. "I still can't understand why you have sworn of telling me of _your_ conquests." He smiled, but his eyes clearly said that he had once prayed to be one of that number.

"Don't you have enough insipid stories of your own?" Tsunade asked, hands on her hips. "I've told our spies to stop bringing me reports of your perverted endeavors; but, they bring their papers to others who are avid for such trash, and they have to throw it on my desk!" She frowned.

"Perverted endeavors? _Moi? _Tsunade, you wound me!" Jiraiya chuckled. He was who he was. A leopard does not change its spots. A young pervert grows into an older pervert. The cycle continued on. Sarutobi had influence him… he had influenced Yondaime… and the Fourth had passed the torch to Kakashi. But, while he and the Copy Ninja were able to watch over Naruto, the boy had stumbled on his perverted jutsus on his own. A true prodigy!

"I wish!" the Hokage said. "A man your age behaving in such fashion. _Disgusting. _Taking the form of Corin, and playing on a set of silly corn pipes, singing verses of love to Phillida. Poor girl!" She held up one hand, made a fist, and then shook it in her fellow Sannin's face.

"She seemed to be enjoying herself," the Hermit said, shrugging. "Certainly you have worse stories than that!"

"I can't believe that you asked Kurenai to dress up in an Amazon's costume and pose for the centerfold of your newest work. That was bad enough. But to do it right in front of her friends?" Tsunade reached out, snapped her fingers, and reduced a small tree into toothpick like fragments. "Asking her if she wanted to be your 'Warrior Love.' You _know_ that she takes that kind of thing seriously."

Jiraiya yawned, and covered his mouth with his hand. "You're right, Tsunade. It was a jest. I know that the Yuuhi girl fancies Kakashi." Watching the other Sannin's face, he smirked. "I like my women much more buxom." He gave her a sly looking over. "But, I'm far more interested in your reaction when I mentioned Hatake Kakashi." He rubbed his hands together. He had been saving this one for just the right occasion.

"What?" Tsunade gulped. "I have no idea what you're babbling about this time!"

"It's no secret to some of us, that you once had a crush on the infamous Copy Ninja." Jiraiya fluffed out his hair nonchalantly. He didn't always have the opportunity to take a good shot at his former teammate. He would need to savor this while he could. "It was you who broke up his midnight tryst with the ravishing Perigenia, poor girl. You also made efforts to break up his relationships with Aegle, Ariadne, and Antiopa. That's just the kind of thing that my readers would like to read!"

"**How!" **Tsunade turned bright red. "I mean, that's a lie." She began turning red with rage. "That's no one's business but my own. Nothing ever came out of it, and he doesn't even know." She stood nose to nose with her former teammate. "If you even think about telling him, I will post your picture at every hot springs in the Fire Country, and in every Nation allied to us!" Her eyes flashed. "The caption will read 'Be on the look out for nefarious pervert!' That ought to put a cramp in your style!"

Undetected, Anko remained still. The only thing that moved was her mouth, which curved into a large smiled. This was priceless. By itself, it had made her trek out into the forest worthwhile!

"Now, you wouldn't go that far, _would_ you?" Jiraiya laughed. "If you did, I might locate some young boy… perhaps that child from India that you use as a page boy… and speak closely with him. Children are often confused with the questions they heart… and body… so my written report might be somewhat inaccurate." He rubbed his nose. "My readers would forgive me…"

"**_You wouldn't!" _**Tsunade drew herself up to her full height, her face looking like a frightening mask. "You leave that poor boy alone. He's in the Leaf because of a serious injury to his mother, who is a medical specialist in their own land. If she dies, I have promised to raise her son as if he were my own."

"Posh!" Jiraiya smiled. "You ought to know me better than that. You are so easy sometimes. I hate it when we fight like this. It happens so often; but, that's only because of the secret desires we have for one another." He was only half joking. "Perhaps it's time we kiss and make up."

"I'd rather kiss my pig!" Tsunade said, chuckling. "That doesn't mean I have a thing for bores." Her play on words had her fellow Sannin frowning.

"I pity the pig, then." Jiraiya shook his head, pretending to wipe away a tear. "At least To Ton has my respect. I haven't caught the oinker using a justu to stay young and attractive. Ahhhh, the surest cure for vanity is loneliness. I'm glad we brought you back to be Hokage instead of me." He brushed a fallen leaf off of his voluminous sleeve. "Will you be staying in the forest much longer? Perhaps we can walk a bit." If he was lucky, that would have her walking away from his chosen meeting area.

"I think I've had my fill of you for one day," Tsunade replied, tossing her hair. "Unlike some people, I have work to do." Her words couldn't hide the fact that she was worn out from her duties, and tormented by the fact that a Hokage's life can be very lonely, despite the number of people she or he has to deal with. But, she had no intention to leaving the forest. She still had more political canvassing to do. "You might try talking to the trees. Maybe they will have some stories for your books." With that she strode off.

"So, are we having fun yet?" Jiraiya spoke loudly after Tsunade walked off having a general idea where Anko was hiding. He was indeed speaking to the trees in a general fashion.

"I heard some interesting things," Anko said, walking into plain view. "But, what interests me most is why you arranged to meet me here?"

"Well, let's just say that a certain person I am very fond of has been caught up in an unfortunate situation not of his own making." Jiraiya made a nasty face, thinking about Hiashi. The man meant well, and his family had suffered greatly for the Leaf, but that was no excuse for him to go throw his weight around in the manner he was. "And let's say that the Hokage has her hands tied in regards to possible official actions."

"Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata," Anko said. _"Right?"_

"Right," Jiraiya said. "Hyuuga Hiashi dragged Kakashi into things, along with Kurenai. Hiashi has promised rather drastic things, if his desires are not met." He took a moment to pass along what he had heard from Kakashi. "I'm worried what Naruto might end up doing, should he lose his temper. The choices facing the girl are even worse."

"So, why _me?" _Anko asked. "Because I'm a bit… unconventional… in my approach?"

"_Hmmmm. _Anyone that Orochimaru chose for an apprentice must be skilled, and probably has no aversion to walking a shady path now and again." He held up his hand, not wanting the jounin to take offense. "And yes, you are a bit free-spirited. I can certainly appreciate that." He smiled, rubbing his head. "You also have a rare talent for keeping people off balance. That might also work to our advantage in this."

"Our?" Anko asked, raising one eyebrow. "Why would I want to get involved in this?"

"It never hurts to further one's reputation, right? " Jiraiya shrugged. "It certainly hasn't hurt me. Besides, It would be a chance to have some fun."

"How?" Anko scowled. "It had better not involve my taking my clothes off."

"No. That won't be necessary. The dulcet and harmonius sound of your voice is enough to set my heart afire." He chuckled. "Of course, if you want to, don't let me stop you." He reached into his large carrying bag and took out a large glass vial. "This is the answer."

"What's in it? Not poison I hope!" She scowled. Jiraiya didn't seem like the sort to bump off Uchiha Sasuke or Hyuuga Hiashi.

"No. Not a poison. Rather it's the fruit of a long and arduous search." Jiraiya rubbed the bottle with one finger. "Many years ago, I heard an old wive's tale about a certain flower. As the story went, the Greek god Eros had taken aim at a beautiful woman, intending for her to fall in love with some man. But, the arrow passed through chaste beams of moonlight and miraculously missed its target, falling to the ground. Where that arrow pierced the earth, a new flower grew, white stained with purple, named 'love-in-idleness'."

"Oh my. How romantic." Anko chuckled. Her look made it clear that she questioned the older ninja's sanity.

"The flower looks to be related to the pansy," the Frog Hermit said. "Over the years, it gained other nicknames. Jump-up-and-kiss-me. Heart's-ease. Cuddle me. Love idol. Kiss-her-in-the-buttery. Meet-me-in-the-entry." He swirled the amber liquid in the vial, holding it up to the light. "By itself, the flower has minor effects. Wearing a garland of them might help a young lady influence the heart of someone that would normally take interest in her." He smiled, reaching into his travel bag. "Here… want one?" He held out a number of large white flowers with purple highlights.

"**No!" **Anko took a few steps back, then turned red with anger and embarrassment when Jiraiya began laughing.

"I'll have to remember to write this down for my next book," the Legendary Sannin remarked. "My discovery didn't matter until I happened upon a love jutsu later on. That too had only minimal effectiveness at best. But… combing the two… I finally managed to come up with something…"

"_Oh?" _Anko smiled, her mischievous streak coming to the fore.

"Yes, perform the jutsu… place a drop or two of this juice in the eye of the victim… and the next live creature that the person sees…" Jiraiya grinned, ready for the punch line. "The victim will madly dote on whoever or _whatever_ it is."

"That has such wonderful possibilities…" Anko sounded like a kid dragging a gold bar into a candy shop. "I take it you want me to use this on the Uchiha boy, so he denies his claim on Hinata?"

"Yes. I'll leave the timing and methodology up to you." Jiraiya smiled. "Eros was a god of both heterosexual and homosexual love. His domain included love in all its broadest senses, not just the sexual. So, even though Uchiha Sasuke would never fall in love with another boy on his own, you could use the elixir to punish him for going along with Hiashi's idea." He laughed. "Eros was one of the oldest of the gods, and was actually feared by the ancient Greeks. In many stories, he would cause havoc, and there was a definite air of maliciousness about him." The Frog hermit smiled. "He could drive men and women to noble self-sacrifice, or torture them to madness while driving them to self-destruction. Lacking much by the way of wisdom, the people today usually make Eros… Cupid… contemptibly cute and sweet, and somewhat prankish." He kept a straight face saying: "Like you."

"So, if Sasuke were to end up madly in love with a boy or older man…" Anko ignored the last remark. It wasn't important. She couldn't believe her good fortune. She had always been put off by the Uchiha boy's attitude, and still harbored some feelings of jealousy after Orochimaru chose him as his apprentice. "…Or some kind of forest or farm animal…"

"_Exactly! _He would forget about Hinata…" Jiraiya ran his hand through his hair. "…And Hiashi would no longer want him for a son-in-law, if he found out." He froze, his eyes narrowed in contemplation. When they widened, he smiled. "I can also think of another good use for the drops." He paused, savoring the idea. "Tsunade."

"Huh?" Anko twitched. "You mean _you _and the Hokage?" She looked at the vial. "But that…"

"Yes, it would be risky." Jiraiya shrugged. What was 'risky' to one such as him? He had been through so much in his life. "But, if you're as good as they say you are, she would never catch on."

"Is that stuff permanent?" She held out her hand and excepted the elixir. "If it _is_…"

"I don't know," Jiraiya said, shrugging. "But, I have the antidote. Given that fact, the potion has the potential for great mischief, nothing more." He didn't say '_if _the antidote actually works,' His posture suddenly changed. "We have company." He made a hand signal. The two of them flashed to a large branch overhead.

"Why do you keep pursuing that foolishness?" Uchiha Sasuke looked even more unhappy than usual. "I don't love you. I could never love you. I have no need for one like you." He pushed his way through a small thicket, Haruno Sakura following close behind him. "You told me that Naruto and Hinata would be out here somewhere. The one… I should have killed back when I had a chance. The other… might kill herself or otherwise slay my opportunity." He turned and gestured. "Go home. I'll find them on my own. I can convince them to see reason without your meddling."

"I can't help it," Sakura said sadly. "I don't know why, but you keep drawing my heart towards you like a magnet, even though you don't seem to have a matching heart of your own." She straightened her shoulders. "I know what you suffered through. Maybe there's something inside that just needs a chance. I can't stop wondering what might happen if someone cared about you for who you are…not because you are an idol… or because you have the sharingan…"

"**You have no business caring for me!" **Sasuke sounded angry, almost furious. "When have I asked you to care about me? Who have I ever asked to care? _Not_ You_. Not _Naruto. _Not_ Kakashi."

"It's strange…" Sakura trembled for a moment, feeling as if a chill ran up her spine. "The more you yell at me, the more I want to help you." Her voice grew stronger, "Maybe I don't deserve someone like you… maybe there is no reason for you to show me the slightest bit of respect… and maybe the love of an avenger with nothing left to avenge is a worthless thing…" She set her jaw. "But, you are hurting and alone."

"Did you ever stop to think that I might be able to deal with my own hurt, or that I might be better off alone?" Sasuke bulled his way through a number of young saplings, some of which snapped back striking Sakura in the face and hands. The both of them were unaware that they were being followed and observed. "You would not like what I've become. It's not be wise to tempt the hatred in my spirit. It makes me sick to look at you."

"It makes me sick to see what you've become," Sakura said, close to tears now. Memories of the Forest of Death walked by her side. Images of Orochimaru taunted her, as did images of Sasuke's curse seal. "I can understand how you might not care for me. I didn't help rescue you, because I was hoping that you might care about me. That doesn't matter right now. I can't believe you would do this to Naruto!"

"_Naruto!" _Sasuke paused a moment. "I didn't ask for him to save me. I did not ask for him to come looking for me again. I did not ask for him to aid in the death of my brother!" He took out a knife and began cutting his way through the underbrush with long angry swipes.

"Is that it?" Sakura rushed ahead and grabbed Sasuke's arm. "Are you angry because someone stole your vengeance? Are you upset, because you were saved from spilling your own brother's blood, and you can't stand owing someone your gratitude?" Her voice cracked. _"Don't be! _None of us asked for thanks! We've had enough of your selfish anger" She began to sound a lot like the Hokage. "Are you planning to marry Hinata to satisfy your new obsession, or do you just want to stick it to Naruto?" Close to tears again, she grabbed Sasuke by the arm, stopped him, and then slapped him hard across the face. "Why should anyone ever want to see an Uchiha clan again, if the members are like you and Itachi!"

"You wouldn't understand!" Sasuke put a hand to his cheek. His voice sounded far less arrogant and certain. "You never had your entire clan murdered. You never had your brother tell you to get stronger so you could face him. You never had everyone try to force you to care about them, because they think you are so strong, even though you were never strong enough." He clenched both fists, almost cutting his hand on his knife blade. "Hyuuga Hiashi is doing what he thinks is best for his clan. This may be the best that I can do for my clan. If you truly cared for me, you wouldn't stand in my way."

"Maybe you can't feel love," Sakura said, nearly in a whisper. " Does that mean you will feel no regret, killing the hope of love for your friend, and for a girl who might end up joining a convent or taking her own life?"

"Leave me alone," Sasuke said. His posture changed momentarily, before he stiffened once again. He held up the knife. "If you keep hounding me, I might end up doing something to hurt you."

"You already have," Sakura said. "Here, in the forest. Walking through town together. Practicing with Kakashi and Naruto. Everything you say and do hurts me. Maybe I would be happier to be part of the woods…" She pointed to the young trees that Sasuke had slashed. "Maybe it wouldn't pain me as much." She swallowed hard, trying to keep tears from her eyes. "But, I won't give up on you." She began moving through the wooded area by herself. Sasuke stood a moment longer before continuing.

Jiraiya held up his hand, ordering Anko to stay still. They wouldn't follow either of them at that mement. "That poor kid," the Frog hermit said. He looked very sad for a moment. Sakura reminded him so much of Tsunade. But, she had found in Dan, someone to love and love her back. Taking out a small glass container from his bag, he carefully poured some of the elixir into it. "Here. Take this. I'll go looking for Tsunade amongst the wild thyme, oxlips and violets. That will be my mischief. You take the remainder and use some on Sasuke. Make certain that the first thing he sees is Sakura. It might end up being cruel to her, but…"

"But, it might help the Uchiha boy get in touch with feelings that are buried too far down to reach any other way." Anko shrugged. "I guess it can't hurt to try. You shouldn't get your hopes up, though. It isn't as if this is some kind of bedtime story or something."

"I know that," Jiraiya said. "But, if there's even the slightest chance at success, it's worth trying. I'm putting my trust in you."

"I'll do my best." With that, Anko vanished.


	4. Chapter 4

The forest was full of the sounds of life.

As the jounin prowled the tranquil stretch of woods, a number of important personages spoke together underneath a huge weeping tree.

"Are you certain?" Tsunade asked, breathing a sigh of relief. This was the first time all day that she truly felt a modicum of hope.

"Yes indeed," Mitokado Homura said, holding up a yellow cracked scroll. "My runner just brought this to me, a few minutes before you showed up."

"We've only managed to read a small bit of it; but, by good fortune, that was more than enough." Utatane Koharu smiled. "It's quite ironic, actually."

"Truly," Mizuno Naosuke laughed, feeling younger than he had in years. "The ancient unwritten laws can cut both ways, it seems."

_"Oh?" _Tasunade raised one eyebrow. She was beginning to feel a bit cantankerous. Why wouldn't someone just come out and say it!

A group of doves took to the wing, their characteristic sound causing a number of the older dignitaries to think back to the days of their youth. There days had come and gone, marked by unique bits of happiness and sadness. Now it was their duty to pass the torch to the younger villagers, hoping they could have memorable lives as well.

"It seems that the Clan Leader of the Hyuugas can rightfully arrange the marriage of any woman with his clan, not only his daughters," Hotta Yoshinaka said. "But, should he ever appoint a successor, and then strip that individual of the title…"

"Then, he loses _all_ rights to make any other decisions about that person's life." Mitokado Homura rubbed his hands together, showing much more animation than he usually did. "I feel spry enough to dance a lusty rondel. Hyuuga Hiashi has been insufferable lately. I can't imagine how he might act if his daughter was ever wed to that Uchiha boy. This ought to knock him off his high horse!"

"Off his horse and onto his ass," Mizuno Naosuke said. "He'll rant and he'll rave. We'll all be called snakes with double tongues, and other colorful things. Wasn't that what he called the council last time, when we denied his request for more land outside the village wall?" He rubbed his weary eyes.

"Yes," Utatane Koharu answered, brushing some bark fragments off of her blouse. "The man can be thornier than one of those little fellows." She pointed at a hedgehog that waddled out from cover, looked around with its beady eyes, and then scurried back into the thicket.

They all laughed at that. There was a lot of work ahead of them, if they ever wanted to pass legislation that could prevents unwanted surprises in the future. Those kind of motions would be difficult to get accepted by the majority of old families; but, anything worth having is worth fighting for. Today, all they had been looking for was one small victory. The Fates had smiled on them in the form of that dusty old scroll. Maybe they should send the librarians and researchers a large basket of wine and fine food.

"I guess you'll be heading back to Konoha now," Tsunade said. "This is a pretty nice spot. Maybe we should hold all of our meetings out here."

"Yes," Mitokado Homura spoke for the others. "As for this place… arrange for some chairs, a bathroom, and some insect netting, and it's a deal. He swatted at a swarm of lacewings that drifted in their direction.

"How about you?" Hotta Yoshinaka coughed and spat. A lacewing had flown into his mouth. The damn things looked like pixies from the old stories, with their delicate transparent wings. "Will you be heading back with us?"

"Not yet," Tsunade said. "I need to call in the jounin and send them on their next task." She sighed, thinking about how Naruto and Hinata must be feeling at that moment. "I want to find those two kids. In their state of mind, who knows what they might do?"

After the council members went home under guard, Tsunade went to round up the few jounin that still remained. While doing that, she was unaware of Jiraiya, who stood far above her in the crown of a majestic tree, light bathing his forehead protector, but failing to reflect off of its dulled surface.

"What to do… what to do… what to do…" The famous author and noted pervert debated his next course of action. He could back up Anko, just in case she failed. _Fine. _All that meant was hanging around a bit longer after his own mission was completed. He was going to do that anyway, regardless of his choice. The elixir could be used to make Tsunade fall in love with him, if only for a relatively short while. She might kill him; but, he'd die happy. _No. _He couldn't do that to her, after all. Not to an old teammate. They had already been betrayed by one teammate too many. "But, there's absolutely no reason that I can't have a little fun."

After Tsunade had gotten used to her new job as Hokage, she had grown more and more insufferable. This would do her good! _Yes. _She needed to be taken down a peg or two. If she were able to catch him in a trick of this magnitude in return, he would deserve whatever happened to him.

"It will make a great chapter in my memoirs, someday." The Frog Hermit chuckled. "That will certainly be a best seller!" He held up the phial, seeing the light refract, as if through a prism. "This might be the start of a series of Unfotunate Events of some sort."

Tsunade would be his first big success with the potion he had labored to produce. But, there was no reason that she had to be the last! Numerous people had criticized or lambasted him throughout the years. Any one of them could do with a lesson in humility. Even though Orochimaru somehow absconded while the Sound was destroyed, he would show up again, in one form or another. The other Sannin was a prime candidate for the love elixir. If he timed things just right, he might be able to get his old teammate to fall in love with a rat or other rodent, just before he makes his choice to change bodies.

A number of birds tittered nervously above. Jiraiya smiled and nodded his head. "You're right. No more dawdling! Let's do this thing…" He knew exactly what to do. It need only work for the briefest or moments. After working a summoning, he followed with the hand seals for his new jutsu.

"What the…" Tsunade calmly turned, seeing the large cloud obscuring the nearby trees. She knew the after-effects of _Kuchiyose No Jutsu _on a large scale well enough. Before she could move, an impossibly long tongue wrapped around her body a number of times, pinning her arms to her sides. Before she could use her remarkable strength to break free, she paused, seeing a smug looking Jiraiya land in a crouch, and then straighten up. **"You! **Just what's the meaning of this? If you try to steal a kiss or something…"

"Oh, I could. Believe me, I could steal a great deal more than _that." _He splashed the elixir in her eyes. "Pleasant dreams. Maybe we can laugh about this some day." As the Hokage's eyelids grew heavy, he felt an urge to be poetic. "What thou see when thou dost wake, do it for thy true-love take. Love and languish for his sake: be it skunk, or cat, or bear, leopard, or boar with bristled hair; in thy eye that shall appear when thou wake, it is thy dear: wake when some vile thing is near." He sniffed, grinning. "Love is in the air!"

Not all that far away, unbeknownst to the Frog Hermit, Naruto and Hinata were continuing their meandering walk through the forest. They had both been there since early morning, having headed off to meet instead of showing up at practice.

"You look tired after all our wandering, Hinata-chan. I know this has all been hard on you. Maybe we should a rest and take some comfort in a nice day." Naruto put his hand up over his eyes, scanning the wooded area, trying to find some landmark that he recognized. Listening, he heard the faint sound of a large trickling brook. He led his companion in that direction.

"I _am_ tired, Naruto-kun. It doesn't matter if we rest or keep walking, as long as we're together." She stumbled over a barely visible tree root that ran along the top of the fertile soil. "We may not have much more time to spend together, regardless of what I choose." She yawned. "I wouldn't mind finding a nice soft grassy bank to lay down and rest my head on."

"Well, I guess I could think while I rest a bit. _Sure! _The turf could serve as a pillow for both of us. One heart, one bed." Naruto stretched and scratched under one arm.

"Ummm…" Hinata knew what Naruto meant. Just the same, her modesty would not be denied. "It will be _two_ beds, Naruto-kun. You shouldn't lay down right next to me." She looked away, feeling a strong sense of foreboding. She was not ready for anything approaching intimacy yet. But, in a few day's time, she might never have the chance at that again. "I almost wish that we could fall asleep and never wake up."

"Hey! What were we talking about earlier?" Naruto said. "Where's the girl that stood up to Neji? _Huh? _Where's the shy little thing that still managed to lift my spirits before I went to battle her cousin? _Well?" _He reached out and tweaked her nose. "Where's the girl who stripped naked, wrapped a big red bow around herself, and came strutting out to where I was practicing?

"**Naruto-kun!" **Hinata narrowed her eyes. She did not approve of some of his jokes. But, he knew that. That's why he teased her more and more. in that fashion.

"Oh. Yeh. Sorry!" Naruto put his hand behind his neck. "That was my _other_ girlfriend."

"Maybe they should put _you_ in a monastery, Naruto-kun." Hinata said. She was grateful that Naruto was joking with her, instead of being all glum and solemn like she was. But, there just wasn't any laughter in her heart at the moment. That might be the most tragic loss of all. He had helped her discover that special and unexpected treasure, and now it might be locked up forever, with the key missing.

"That's alright. I could teach those monks how to have a real good time. Sign me up!" Naruto felt very anxious. He had been trying to raise Hinata's spirits without success. It wasn't unusual for her to be quiet; but, it was uncharacteristic for her to be this depressed.

Hinata just sighed and kept walking, looking up at the trees… searching the ground for flowers… noticing the various types of animals that called the forest home. She was looking at them all, as if seeing them for the first time. That was because she wondered if it might be the last time.

"We could always run off to another village," Naruto said. "If Granny Tsunade gives us a secret OK, we won't have to worry about becoming Missing Nins. Then, we could wait as long as it takes for her to get the rules changed. _Right?"_

"No," Hinata said. "My father has many trained shinobi working as his guards. Some of them were once very skilled assassins. They would hunt us down and try to kill me. They would be blameless before the law." She shook her head. "I won't run, Naruto-kun. I don't want to hide ever again."

"Hinata-chan." Naruto was saddened by his girlfriend's answer; but, he was very proud of her. "What if we eloped? I know that we're both very young. You might find someone better than me some day…" He swallowed hard when Hinata shook her head in an emphatic 'No.' "Well then, I might find someone better than you." He smiled. It was a joke. Hinata didn't view it that way.

"Yes. You might, Naruto-kun." Hinata reached out and took Naruto's hand. "I've always watched you. When I was old enough to think about boys, I only thought about you." She wiped a tear away. "But, that doesn't mean that I'm the best girl for you."

"That's true," Naruto said, feeling as adamant as a seventeen year old could. "It's everything else about you that makes you perfect for me. _Right?" _He squeezed her hand.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun." Hinata began crying again. "I don't want to leave you. I don't want to die. I don't want to marry someone else." She looked up at the sun, blinking. She tried to compose herself. "It wouldn't matter if we got married. My father would still send his men. The outcome would be the same."

Naruto wanted to throw out his chest and say that he would protect her. But, there was only so much that he could do. They had to eat. They had to sleep. They would find themselves in vulnerable situations. Well-trained assassins would probably get through to them, sooner or later.

"Well then, I'll just have to do what I do best!" Naruto began strutting playfully, almost ending up on his face when he snagged a foot on a large leafy vine. "How did I beat Kiba? _Good luck! _How did I defeat Neji? _Perseverance! _How did I defeat Kabuto? _Surprise!" _He began walking backwards, talking in animated fashion. This time he did trip and fall.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata managed a smile. She held her hand out to Naruto and helped him back up.

"I did that on purpose to make you smile," Naruto said, not very convincing in his claim. "But, in most of the fights I won, there was one thing in common." He pressed his thumb against his chest. _"Trickery!"_

"Who can you trick?" Hinata asked. "You probably can't trick the Hokage into acting against the law. I doubt you can trick Sasuke into changing his mind. How could you trick my father in any way that will change his heart?"

"_Sasuke," _Naruto said, sneering. "Sasuke is the key." He tugged at one ear. "If I can do something that would make your father think differently about him, we win!" Spreading his arms wide as if he were accepting applause, he said "Sometimes I'm so clever I surprise even me."

Hinata sighed and shook her head. Here he goes again. _Honestly! _

Naruto felt his spirits climbing. Spying a large intricately woven spider web, he pointed to it and said "You're lucky to be in the same forest as Uzumaki Naruto." When a boar crashed through the underbrush and stood staring warily at the two humans, Naruto created a score of clones, all of whom shouted "You are fortunate to be in the presence of one so wise." He jumped up, plucked a large hanging cluster of blossoms from a low growing tree and handed them to Hinata. "You're pretty lucky too."

"_O-o-o-o_…_k-a-a-a-y_…" Hinata said. She watched as the boar pawed the dirt, snorted, and then ran off. She took a deep breath of the blossom's fragrance. "So, in what clever way are you going to make my father think differently?"

Naruto stopped in mid strut. He blinked rapidly for a few moments. "Uhhh…" Suddenly, he looked embarrassed. "Well…" He coughed, and then looked over at the clones. The shrugged and mouthed 'Don't ask us.' "Ahem… I haven't figured out that part yet."

"What am I going to do with you, Naruto-kun?" Hinata had meant it as an affectionate little remark. But, it had her hanging her head, wondering what she would ever do without him.

"_Hmmmmmm." _Naruto rubbed his chin. He scratched his cheek. He walked around a bit, one hand behind his back. Breaking a stick off of a dead tree, he began stripping the bark off of it. "Maybe…" He began tapping the stick against another tree. "Let's see…"

"Do you have an idea, Naruto-kun?" Hinata brought her hands together. She felt breathless for a few moments. Her heart started beating faster.

"Almost," Naruto said. "We have some practicing to do." He smiled and nodded his head. "I'll work out the particulars as we go along."

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata wondered just what he had in mind. Naruto came by the title 'The village's number one unpredictable ninja' honestly.

"Somehow, we need to have Sasuke do something in front of your father that will piss him off big time!" Naruto rubbed his hands together. "I can probably hold this for a long time, since I have a lot of chakra. _Henge No Jutsu!" _Working hands seals, he performed the perfunctory transformation technique. "I need to move around a bit, seeing if I can keep things perfect." He looked just like Uchiha Sasuke.

"What about me?" Hinata asked. "And what about our voices?"

"We'll have to settle for some kind of act that doesn't need words," Naruto said, frowning. That was one of the sticking points. "For now, try looking like Sakura. Something between Sasuke and Sakura might be believable." He chuckled, seeing another chance to tease Hinata. "It might mean we have to get naked on your father's front porch, though."

"Please behave, Naruto-kun…" Hinata blushed, looking down at her feet. Concentrating, fixing an image of Sakura in her mind, she took on that girl's image. It had been a while since she used the _Henge _jutsu. Now was a good time to see how long she could hold it effectively.

"That's really good, Hinata-chan!" Naruto smiled, impressed by Hinata's Henge. "Let's go search out that grassy bank for you." Having said that, he began marching through the underbrush ahead of her, clearing a path. His usual hyperactivity in action, he strode onward putting more and more distance between him and a trailing Hinata.

Before Hinata knew what happened, something exploded at her feet. She began coughing, her eyes watering uncontrollably. _A pepper bomb! _Someone had thrown a pepper bomb. Was this some kind of enemy attack? Using _Byakugan, _she failed to sense anyone in the immediate vicinity.

Anko had struck quickly and moved on. Next, she sought her primary target, getting the bottle of elixir ready. _There. _Uchiha Sasuke. That lack-love. The kill-courtesy. "He deserves this." This time she threw a handful of eggshells filled with a substance that would create obscuring smoke when the shells broke.

Naruto prepared for the worst. Was this some kind of attack from the Hyuuga shinobi? What about Hinata? He had gotten too far ahead. Wanting to call out to Hinata, he couldn't. The smoke had his throat swelling up.

Anko didn't need to fight with Sasuke. She was glad about that, having no idea just how strong the boy had become. No, her task was much simpler. "Sweet dreams, Uchiha." Flashing through the billowing smoke, she splashed the potion in the boy's eyes, certain that she had carried out her mission. "Time to find Jiraiya."

"I… this… how could it…" Naruto managed a few words as he regained his own form. Eyes closing, he slowly slumped to the forest floor. Before he could say another word, he was fast asleep. He was snoring when the real Sasuke went running past, only a few yards away.

"I thought I was done with her," Sasuke said, sensing that Sakura was following him again. "Why does she haunt me like this!" Was she going to try more of that useless pleading? Or, was she concerned that he might try to injure Naruto when he found him? If he couldn't lose her, then he would have to stop her.

"**Sasuke-kun! _Wait, _Sasuke-kun**…" Sakura shouted as she sped along the heavy boughs of the terribly old trees. "I have to convince him somehow," she said to herself. "No matter how much it keeps hurting me to try." She slowed down, catching the faint scent of something out of place in the forest. "The more I pray for, the less grace I receive,' she said sadly. "Hinata is lucky in a way. She won the love of the one she wanted." A bit of orange stood out against the greens, greys, and browns. **"Naruto!"**

Sakura hurried to check on her teammate. She was very worried. Could Sasuke have done something to hurt Naruto? He wasn't moving, as if be were sound asleep. Was he dead?

As the medical ninja sighed in relief, checking her friend's pulse, he slowly began to awaken. _"Sakura…" _He spoke that name and smiled, his eyes coming to focus. "I would run through fire to see you, Sakura-chan!" He brought his hands up to his chest. "My heart had never thought so clear. Has Sasuke come with you? If he said anything to hurt you again, I sweat that I will kill him!"

"Naruto, what are you saying." Sakura checked Naruto's scalp, to see if he had taken any kind of serious head wound. "You can't really want to kill Sasuke. We will find a way to convince him or Hinata's father to call things off. You have Hinata's love, and that should be content with that."

"Content with Hinata?" Naruto said, shaking his head. "No, I repent any mistaken feelings I had for her. It's always been Sakura-chan for me. Why should I trade a small white flower, when I can have a whole cherry tree in blossom?" He looked at his friend with a dreamy look on his face. "You are the worthier woman. It's easier to see, that you are the riper fruit." He licked his lips, looking her over slowly. "I love _you _Sakura-chan, not Hinata."

"_What?" _Sakura brought her hand to her mouth. She frowned, and balled that hand into a fist. "Are you mocking me? If you are, this is a very bad time for jokes. You know how I'm not good enough for Sasuke. Do you have to make fun of that, even after I tried to bring him out for you and Hinata to reason with him? I thought better of you than that!" Her eyes stricken, she turned away from Naruto and began walking off.

"I can't believe that I ever cared that way about Hinata," Naruto said, watching Sakura as she disappeared into the verge. "She was like a bowl of Ramen that seemed so right at first, but soon left me feeling ill after I spent too much time with it." He sighed. "I don't wish to see Hinata dead; but, more than anything else, I have to convince Sakura of my love for her!" With that, he walked off as well.

"**Naruto-kun!" **He did not hear Hinata's call as he headed on his way. Frantic, the white-eyed girl searched for him, worried that someone had targeted him instead of her. "Naruto-kun… where are you…"

She kept listening for any sign, and looking for any clue. If something had happened to Naruto, her choice would be that much easier.


	5. Chapter 5

The group of shinobi moved purposefully through the glen.

One ninja, wearing dark sunglasses, clearly led the other. Stopping to stare at an old gnarled tree, he nodded, raising his hand in a signal for the others to stop.

"This is where I found the eggs of the _Melanis pixe," _Shino said. "Right through those hedges we'll find a natural amphitheater, with an open area for practicing our lines, divided off from an area of seclusion. This whole set-up can double for the kind of site we need to find later."

"I _still_ don't see how this is going to work," Kiba said, looking over at Shikamaru. "You _know _our lines will sound like we rehearsed them. The Fifth will never think that we're being spontaneous."

"Don't be such a quitter," Ino said, as full of energy as usual. "We can do this. I _know _we can. After all, it's your teammate we're trying to save." She pointed over at Shino. "He's doing _his_ part."

"We need to come up with some kind of heated discussion that shows that we are worried that Naruto will kill himself," Neji said. "We have to make it seem like we are all driven to the very edge, ready to take some kind of drastic action to save him and Hinata."

"Right," Ten Ten said. "Maybe some of us can act like we're worried what Naruto might do to Hinata's father. We can argue amongst ourselves, with the most passionate amongst us saying they are willing to fight alongside Naruto. We can say that the genin and chuunin from other teams are all up in arms, questioning the whole reason that they are shinobi."

"That would be Kiba and Lee," Choji said, keeping an eye out for any wildlife that might want to swipe his chips. "They are the most emotional, outside of Naruto. Shikamaru will have to be the voice of reason. He was the first one of us to be chuunin and to lead a team. The Hokage would never believe that he was moved to any kind of action against her wishes."

"Of course not," Kiba said. "Any kind of action would be too bothersome." He grinned when Akamaru began yapping, and then stopped to stare at the clouds.

"Neji was the first to make jounin," Ten Ten said. "He is also Hiashi's nephew. His words will carry a lot of weight. Which side should _he_ argue for?" She blinked rapidly for a moment. "I'll play my part by backing him up, whatever he says." That part would come naturally for her.

"**_Ahhh-hhh-hh-h-h-h…" _**Lee struck a heroic pose. "This day we must feast, and eat the food of freedom. He that outlives this day, and comes home safe, will stand tall when the day is named is remembered. He that shall live this day, and see old age, will strip his sleeve and show his scars. This story shall the good man teach his son. We few, we happy few, we band of ninjas. The rest will think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhood cheap whiles any of us speaks." His eyes looked like they were ablaze. **_"Oooo-ooo-oo-aaaa-aaa-aa-ah!" _**

"That line is a bit too much, Lee." Shikamaru sighed and hung his head. This was going to take a lot of work. "No one will believe that's coming right off the top of your head."

"_Line?" _Lee stood staring, his eyes seeming larger than usual. "What do you mean, line?"

Everyone looked at one another. Then, they all began laughing. Only Rock Lee could sound like a fiery speech from an old musty play.

"What about anyone who might overhear our play acting?" Neji rubbed his chin, the voice of logic. "Imagine, instead, if we were performing the story of Thisbe and Pyramus. Assume that the people who overheard our words thought we were describing something that was really taking place. What might a group of archers or shinobi do from a distance, if they saw what they thought was a real lion in the village?"

"They would probably wipe the sleep out of their eyes and wonder if they were dreaming," Kiba said with a sneer. There haven't even been any lions living on Shishimaya… Lion Mountain… for centuries." He laughed." Maybe if you made it Sea Lions, and we were somewhere near the water."

"A lion could escape from a zoo!" Lee said, instinctively backing up Neji.

"Or a traveling circus," Ten Ten said. "Of course, traveling circuses never visit the Fire Country, and there aren't any zoos near Konoha."

"Why am I here?" Shikamaru hung his head. "Neji was making a very good point. The reference to Thisbe and the lion was just an analogy. Our performance must not only be convincing, it must also be well-timed and appropriately contained. If we are overheard by jounin… including our sensei and our parents… and they think that the things we fear are actually happening…"

"Yes," Neji said. "Although the risks are low, we stand a chance of making things far worse than they already are. We do not need a mob rushing to apprehend Naruto. He might end up believing they are siding with Hiashi. If he thinks that the entire village has turned against him…"

"**Shit!" **Kiba said.

"We certainly have our work cut out for us," Ino said. Even her indefatigable spirit had begun to flag. "But, we can't allow that to stop us, right. We have to try… _try_… **_try_**…"

After that, Shikamaru and Neji began diving the ninjas into two groups, those that would be on opposite sides of the dramatic argument. After that, they began trying out some of the lines that Shikamaru had worked on overnight, improvising their own lines where necessary.

Looking for Jiraiya, Anko stopped at the fringes of the clearing, wondering what so many shinobi were up to. She couldn't tell if they were planning some kind of mischief, putting on a play, or trying to find some way to solve the plight of Naruto and Hinata.

At one point, Shino raised one hand, silencing Kiba in the middle of one of his most dramatic lines. That did not sit well with his friend. He looked at a finger on his other hand, staring at the bug there. "Continue without me. I will be gone for a short while."

"_What?" _Ten Ten put her hands on her hips. "You have some lines coming up. We can't continue without you."

"This may be a once in a lifetime opportunity," Shino said. "It should only take a few minutes. One of my more common bugs has detected the scent of a female _Oecophylla margarina,_ the Bottom Weaver Bug, that lays eggs only on _Baccharis viminea, _the Mule's Fat Bush, on these few days of the year.

"Mule?" Kiba frowned, clenching his fists. Shino and his stupid bugs! There were more important things to worry about. Time wasn't the issue. This was a matter of principle. "Don't be an _ass, _Shino."

As Shino paid strict attention to the bug on his finger, he was oblivious to everything else. He never realized that Anko was shadowing him. Mischievous streak tweaked again, the jounin thought of a funny prank, inspired by the things that she had witnessed. It would be difficult, but she was more than skilled enough to pull it off. Performing _Henge_ on oneself was simple. Doing the same trick on someone else was not too difficult. But, it would take a very subtle touch to act on another ninja without the results being detected.

"Ahhh…" Shino nodded. He had found the bug that he wanted, along with some newly laid eggs. "_Perfect_…" Placing the female bug into a small cage that he carried in his equipment bag, he failed to notice the jutsu that Anko worked. For a while, to anyone that looked, he would have the head of an Ass. The joining had embellished by adding a nice tail as well.

Finished with his task, Shino headed back to resume his part in the upcoming charade. They were all still there, brainstorming, practicing, and arguing with one another. He certainly hadn't missed much.

"Very funny," Kiba said. "So you agree that you were an ass." Kiba shook his head. Akamaru let out a long howl.

"Shino, we don't have any time for horsing around!" Ino looked at the transfigured Shino with disapproval.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you if you did that kind of thing, it might stay permanent?" Choji chuckled. He thought the joke was funny, actually. Who would have thought that Shino had a sense of humor?

"I fail to see the reason for your remarks," Shino said, puzzled. "I wasn't gone long, and you have been able to further your aims without me." He began to get angry when his friends continued with their chastisement and unusual comments. When he received word from another bug that a female _Halyomorpha halis_ was nearby, he headed off to find it without comment.

Meanwhile, her thirst for trouble growing, Anko decided to let the other shinobi know that their unsanctioned and clandestine get-together had been discovered. If they were involved in some kind of trickery designed to help Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata, their actions were unnecessary, and might get them in trouble. It was wonderful, being a philanthropist!

"**What have we here, a group of shinobi meeting secretly, when the Hokage walks these woods?" **

Anko had the urge to clap her hands when she watched the response of those shinobi. Let's see. Hyuuga Neji… Ten Ten, whatever her last name might be… Rock Lee… Inuzuka Kiba… Nara Shikamaru… Akimichi Choji… and Yamanaka Ino. And, the Aburame boy wandering the forest with an ass's head. She called out again, as the group had gone from taking up defensive positions to fleeing:

"**I'll follow you through bog, bush, brake, and briar! One of you has been marked as an ass. The rest will have their own mark of shame. A hound! A boar! A bear! Who knows what else! Run if you like. I'll be there at every turn!"**

"Let's see just how skilled this group is," Anko said to herself. She could spare a few moments of pursuit before looking for that big hairy pervert. So, when Shino returned a second time, feeling a bit foolish for having left in a snit, he found the clearing entirely empty.

"Where is everyone?" Shino stood still, scanning the small glen. His friends were all gone. The belongings that the others had brought with them were gone. "What kind of nonsense is this? I can't see them quitting so soon. This must be some kind of foolish game, to see how I might react. I have no reason to feel guilty or ashamed."

Wondering if his friends were watching him, Shino decided to practice some of his lines, even if there was no one there to interact with. Walking through the shady forest paths, he spoke his words with as much conviction as he could muster, still unaware of the fact that he had the head of an ass:

"_Friends, shinobi, you must listen to me. I would rather bury Uchiha Sasuke than praise him! The evil that men do often lives on after them, while what good they have is buried with their bones. I know he was a friend once; but, he is much too ambitious, and that is a grievous fault, one that he must answer for. When the weak and suffering cry, Naruto and Hinata weep, but not Sasuke. He acts like nothing more than a brutish beast, a man who lost all reason. If we lose Hinata, all of our hearts will be buried in her coffin!"_

Shino shook his head. He had worked very hard on that. It would certainly sound good on stage; but, when had he ever spoken like that? No, when had he ever spoken that much? Maybe it was good that he has spoken that alone. Anyone hearing him would surely have laughed!

"Was that an angel speaking, waking me from my flowery bed?" Tsunade yawned, sitting up. She looked around the forest in wonder, smiling. When was the last time that she had such a refreshing nap? "But why…" It was strange, her stopping to take a rest in a place like this, especially given the urgent issues she had been working on. Something inside tugged at her, as if she wasn't the master of her own thoughts and deeds.

Shino was trying to rework his lines:

"_You know me. I'm one of your fellow shinobi! __Too many people seek to praise Sasuke because of his talents; but we should all be looking to stop him before his ambition ruins other people's lives. He was a friend once. But, Naruto and Hinata are our friends now. If Hinata dies, a part of us will die with her."_

He nodded. That was better. It still didn't sound quite like him, though. Maybe because he had spoken in a louder voice than he would normally use. Pushing his glasses further up on his nose, he received a great shock. His head had changed in form! Rubbing, patting, and probing, he grew angry. Was this Kiba's doing? Trying to think of some way to break the jutsu, he froze. He noticed something else. He was not alone.

"I pray thee, gentle boy, whoever you are, please speak again." Tsunade smiled, a dreamy look in her eyes. "I find myself enamored of your voice, but even more enthralled by your fair look." She stood and put a hand to her cheek. "Even though I have just laid eyes on you, I know this for a fact: _I love you!"_

Shino took a step back. What was more disconcerting, finding that he had the head of an ass, or hearing the Hokage say that she loved him? "I think… I think Ma'am, that you have little reason for that." What was wrong with the Fifth? Was she drugged? _Sick? _At least she probably didn't recognize who he really was, thanks to Kiba's little trick. "But, you are certainly better company than some people I know. Even friends can take things too far." His friends were lucky that the Hokage had not stumbled on their little scheme.

"_Ahhhhh. _You are as wise as you are beautiful," Tsunade shuffled her feet, blushing like a young school girl.

"Huh?" Shino swallowed hard. Things really were serious. "We need to get you out of these woods now, Ma'am. I don't know what happened to you; but, it sounds like you need medical attention. There might also be some kind of plan against the village. Can you walk?"

"Oh, I can walk. I can dance too, and sing!" Tsunade did a pirouette. "But, I have no desire to leave these woods." She rubbed her eyes, watching as the jutsu wore off on Shino. "While you are not as beautiful as before, I still love you. You will stay here with me, whether you wish to or not." She held up one finger. Much the way she did to Naruto or Sakura. "I am no common ninja for you to contest with. I am still in the best seasons of my womanhood. So, you will go wherever I go, while I sing out in happiness. Soon enough, we will find immortality in each other's arms." She took out a whistle with a unique and particular voice. She blew on it three times. "There will be others to attend to you, my love."

"I see. You are not yourself, Ma'am. We really should be going." Shino felt his face, glad that it had returned to normal. "I can't leave you here. You may be in danger. And, I might not be able to lead anyone else to you if you wander off."

"_Ohhhh. _It fills my heart with joy to hear that you will not leave me!" Tsunade batted her eyelashes and acted coquettishly. "You could _never_ leave me alone, because I will always follow. When I am with you, no danger large or small will matter. I wish no one else but you!" She held her arms out to Shino.

Summoned by the Hokage's signal, a number of shapes flashed here and there about the forest, flitting from one tree to another, moving with a speed that normal humans would envy.

"Madame Hokage!" Uzuki Yugao was the first to arrive. The attractive young woman, with her dark purplish hair, wondered at the presence the Aburame boy.

"Ma'am!" Hagane Kotetsu alighted, still sporting the usual cloth across his nose and cheeks.

"Here!" Kamizuki Izumo soon followed his comrade. His unruly dark hair covered one of his eyes.

"Right!" Shiranui Genma joined the others, wearing his black knit cap and holding a long toothpick-like stick between his teeth.

"Greetings to all of you!" Tsunade's cheerful countenance and warm lively voice caught the others by surprise. "Now, I want you all to be kind and courteous to this fine young man. If you can find apricots and dewberries, gather them for him. If you come across purple grapes, green figs, and mulberries, bring as much as you can carry. And, I will give thanks to the one of you who can steal honey from the bees that labor to make it!" The Hokage turned a look of adoration on Shino, who suddenly felt as if the entire world was watching him. "Oh, and if you can steal the wax from their honeycombs, you can fashion candles to put aside the mossy bed my lover and I shall share!"

"_Wh-Wh-What_…" It took a lot to shock Yugao. Her eyes went impossibly wide. What kind of game was the Fifth playing?

"But… you… he… how…" Genma didn't notice that his toothpick had fallen to the ground. "This must be some kind of joke, Ma'am."

"_R-R-Right_…" Izumo let out a long breath. "For a moment there…"

Kotetsu just stared at Shino, then Tsunade, and then Shino again.

"What is this talk of jokes?" Tsunade frowned, a little bit of her normal attitude showing through. "This is no joke to me. Like the moon waiting to appear, you should all look upon me with a watery eye and weep as every little flower does, lamenting some enforced chastity."

Shino felt to sudden urge to run. That was not like him. He rarely moved at anything but a slow and stately pace, except at practice or during a mission. But, that word 'chastity' had him sweating.

"Lead him to my bower," Tsunade said, sighing.


	6. Chapter 6

A strong breeze caused the large bank of frilly green ferns to wave one way, and then the other.

The sound of water coursing over small flat rocks was punctuated by the calls of songbirds and the occasional buzz of a bee working at the patches of tall spire like flowers.

"I wonder how things are working out," Jiraiya said. He rubbed the back of his neck, concerned about Naruto. Swatting at a bee that came too close, he looked off into the forest. What happened with Tsunade? Who or what did she see when she woke up?"

Hearing something, the Legendary Sannin stood wary. He grinned, seeing Anko emerge from the nearest thicket. **"Ho! **Have you been haunting these woods like some mad spirit? Just what havoc have you managed?"

"Tsunade has led her new love and paramour to her makeshift bower. At least, that's what she thinks she has done. The poor fool, and the four jounin watching over the Hokage, can't figure out just what's wrong with her." Anko chuckled. "I had given the boy the head of an ass, and that was the form she saw him in first."

"Ahhh!_Priceless._ An artist's rendition of that scene will adorn the cover of my next book!" The Frog hermit rubbed his hands together in glee. "She will never live this one down, no matter what else happens." He looked over at Anko. "So, who was the unfortunate soul?"

"You would never guess," Anko said, grinning "Aburame Shino. He and his companions were working on some kind of scheme; but, he decided to head off on one of his little bug hunts. One friend called him an ass, and I made him so. After I chased off his co-conspirators, he walked in on Tsunade."

"I won't win her gratitude for this," Jiraiya said, with an understatement for the centuries. "'So it came to pass, Tsuande waked and loved an ass'. That will make a wonderful tavern song, don't you think?" He looked over at Anko. "So, did you do as I bid you? Were you able to dose Uchiha Sasuke with the elixir?"

"Yes," Anko said, wanting to head off and find out the results of that act. "I was able to carry off the jutsu perfectly. He was far enough ahead of the Haruno girl for me to deal with just him; but, she should have been by his side when he woke back up."

"Great. I will have to find some suitable way to reward you, if this works out the way that I planned." The Frog hermit frowned. They were about to be intruded upon. _Again. _"This is getting to be a habit! I can't believe how many people chose to be in this forest at this very time. It looks like we have company again. Let's see who this is. If we're fortunate, it will be Sasuke and Sakura, well along their way to a beautiful friendship."

"I can understand why you want to rebuke me for accepting your father's offer without speaking to you first." It _was_ Sasuke. "I can also understand why you are frightened and concerned, faced with three choices you don't want to choose." But, walking with him was Hinata, who looked very upset. "Can't you see that this is all for the better. Not just for me, but for you as well?"

"I don't love you," Hinata said, as if that was the only answer she needed to give. "I don't even _like_ you. Everybody knows who I c-care about. This is wrong." She took up a stance, looking as if she was ready to use the Gentle Fist on Sasuke, should he make any attempt to get any closer. "Your brother stole your life. I'm sorry. Stealing mine won't m-make up for that." She tried to control her breathing. She wasn't used to speaking emotionally like this.

"You are so bitter!" Sasuke said, running a hand through his long black hair. "It's something we have in common. Neither of us have much to lose right now." He stopped, looking around the area, as if worried Naruto might come charging in at any moment. "You are an afterthought to everyone. You always _have_ been. Don't fool yourself into thinking that being seen with someone as noticeable as Naruto is going to change that." He frowned, trying to find some way to make the girl see the truth. "You may be viewed as insignificant; but, it would be worse to be hated. You don't understand how the villagers feel about him. You don't even know the reason why."

"It's a horrible choice." Hinata's voice cracked. "To be hated by the village, or to hate the one I am f-forced to marry. I would take my chance with Naruto." She fought back tears. Uchiha sasuke did not deserve to see them. "Things can change. He helped me prove that to myself." It was her time to search the clearing, hand held over her brow to keep the sun out of her eyes. "I haven't found Naruto. If you k-killed him, you might as well kill me too."

"I haven't done anything to harm him," Sasuke said, spreading his arms wide in a look of innocence. "But, I'm not surprised to have someone accuse me of something I haven't done." He stiffened up some. His decision to seek out Orochimaru would always be one or two steps behind him, hiding in his shadow. "Seeing that your father has already made his decision, and has the strength of the law behind him, the only one who can hurt Naruto is you."

"_No. _That's n-not true. You trained with Orochimaru." Hinata had the urge to run and hide. She wouldn't. Naruto was out here somewhere, and might need her help. "You are just another snake. Your b-bite will kill me, and wound your friend. You… you don't… you don't have to go along with my father…"

"You are just as emotional as the other girls," Sasuke said, making a disgusted face. "It is enough that I have to endure Sakura's refusal to see the truth!" He clenched both fists. "Your father will have his way. If it's not _me, _it will be someone else. I know that. You need to accept it. That's why I accepted his offer. You can do me much more good than you can do anyone else."

"My father does _not_ own me," Hinata said, unable to hold back the tears. "You just want to use me, like he does. Naruto cares about me." She tried to stand taller, wanting to use her anger the way that Naruto often did. But, that just wasn't her. "M-My death would hurt him. But I don't want to die." She bean walking into the middle of the stream, feeling the current push against her calves. **_"Naruto-kun! _Naruto-kun, can you hear me?" **She spoke to Sasuke, who walked along the bank: "If I were sent to a convent, that would hurt him too. B-But I don't want to go to a convent." She continued to splash along, praying that she didn't find Naruto's body face down somewhere.

"So, those are the only choices you will entertain?" Sasuke's face grew very dark. Part of him wanted to just give in to her wishes, washing his hands of this whole nasty business. But, sitting in Orochimaru's cells at night under heavy guard, and training with him during the day to grow stronger, he promised him to rebuild his clan, to make it even stronger than it was before. He owed that to his mother and father. It didn't matter if his friends hated him. "Death, or hiding away in some nunnery, letting other people dictate your life?" He stopped, his hair blowing in a sudden stiff breeze. "Isn't that quitting? How could Naruto respect anyone who did _that? _Why should _anyone?"_

"_Owww_…" Hinata stumbled when her foot stepped on a sliding submerged rock. She ended up on her hands and knees, water rushing around her. Those words had caused her to stumble as much as the slippery stone had. Closing her eyes, she felt the tug of the current. It showed that she was there in the stream. It showed that she was alive, holding her ground. "If I gave in, and did what my father wanted, _that_ would be quitting," she said, in a voice barely audible above the noise of the brook. Slowly standing, she looked over at Sasuke. "Leave me alone."

After a drenched Hinata continued on her way, Sasuke stood still a moment, before shaking his head and going on his way. He had spoken his piece. The girl had refused to see reason. But, she was sticking to her own beliefs. He couldn't help but feel a grudging respect for that.

"What did you do?" Jiraiya's vest flared out in the breeze, and his hair was buffeted by the short bursts of wind. "You must have made some kind of mistake." Maybe he should have done it himself. But, if he had been caught, Hyuuga Hiashi might have been able to convince his peers that the Legendary Sannin were acting above the law, and that would have implicated Tsunade falsely.

"I struck him in the eyes with the potion! I saw him blink, and watched him fall." Anko sounded defensive, as she wondered what could possibly have gone wrong. "I did the hand seals exactly as I was shown. Is it possible that Uchiha Sasuke is immune to the effects of the potion?"

"Did you check to see if had truly fallen asleep?" Jiraiya scratched his head, trying to think what might have happened. The boy couldn't have expected the attempt, and had no reason to pretend that he had been knocked out. "More important, did you check to see that it was _actually_ Uchiha Sasuke, and not someone taking his form?"

"Why would anyone do _that?" _Anko asked, taken aback. Maybe she had taken things too lightly, making too many assumptions. "I didn't want to risk his seeing me when he awoke. I had no idea how long the slumber might last. I also didn't want Haruno Sakura to catch sight of me."

"I see," Jiraiya said. "Yes, if we were to leave the Uchiha boy in love with her, it would have been unkind to let her know that his feelings were due to the elixir." He shook his head grimacing. It had been such a good plan. But, there had always been room for a lot of uncertainty.

"I don't understand why anyone would have taken his form? You don't think that someone would kill Sasuke, assume his form, and then be seen leaving the village again, _do_ you?" Anko had a very suspicious mind. Being Orochimaru's apprentice can do that to a person. "I can't believe that Naruto would go that far,"

"You're right, he wouldn't," the Frog hermit replied. "But, I wouldn't put it past him and his devious little mind to come up with some other scheme. If he was the one you anointed, then we have an even bigger problem than before."

"If he sees someone other than Hyuuga Hinata…" Anko blanched. **"Oh, shit!" **She could imagine all sorts of possibilities. "Imagine if he were to fall in love with Sasuke!"

"I don't know if even the potion could do _that!" _Jiraiya made a face as if he were sick. "Uchiha Sasuke would be the last person in existence that the boy would have any feelings for." He tapped one finger against his cheek. "If he fell in love with some kind of forest creature, Hinata might think he was joking around, or worry that he was delusional after being attacked."

"But, if he were to stumble across the Hokage… Yugao… or Haruno Sakura…" Anko went stiff, feeling a chill crawl up her back like a large spider with cold feet. "And if Hinata thought that he loved someone other than her…"

"She might break down, and accept the marriage," the old pervert said. "She might run away from the village altogether, bringing the Ninja Hunters after her, seeking to keep the Hyuuga secrets out of enemy hands." He scowled. "Or…"

"Or… she might take her own life…" Anko hung her head, angry at herself. She had played this too much like a game, rather than a serious mission with lives at stake.

"You need to hurry off now!" Jiraiya took out his phial and checked the amount of liquid left. There was plenty. "Let me see yours. _Fine. _You have enough, too." He put the bottle away. "There are things we must do. Uchiha Sauke still needs to be dosed, preferably around the Haruno girl. If Naruto was indeed the one you struck earlier, he will need the antidote." He checked for additional empty bottles. He gad none. There would be only one container of antidote. "If we come across Hinata, she needs to be told the truth."

Jiraiya and Anko set off in different directions, but not too far away from one another. They would sweep the forest as a pair, overlapping their search areas to prevent anyone from sneaking past unseen.

Moving swiftly and following Sasuke's trail, Anko happened upon the dark-haired boy as he sought a way out of the forest. Even though he was on the alert for any possible attack, knowing that any number of people might like to use this whole matter as an excuse to rid the village of him, he was taken by surprise in much the same way that Naruto had been. Anko was very skilled when she put her mind too it.

Slinging the unconscious Sasuke over her shoulder, Anko headed in the direction that would bring her back near the Frog Hermit. Seeing him, she was about to call out when he raised his hand and ordered to stop and take cover. Listening a moment more, he made his way to her side.

"I've located Naruto. He's headed in this direction, with Sakura." He nodded his head, knowing that he had no reason to get his hopes too high yet. "This may be easier than we thought. If I can give Naruto the antidote, and you can make certain that Sakura is the first one that Sasuke sees when he wakes up, thinks will be right where we want them!"

"I managed to perform my task without being seen," Anko said. "This stuff is really potent! It works so quickly, that it would be useful in battle." She counted herself lucky. It would have been rather unfortunate to get in any kind of prolonged confrontation with either Naruto or Sasuke. They, along with Sakuara, were well on the way to being stronger than their three famous teachers.

"That's true," Jiraiya said. "But, it is difficult and time consuming to make. And, it would feel wrong, using a love potion to help kill or capture the enemy."

Anko snorted, making her opinion known. "I take it we must still keep our actions secret? This stuff won't wipe away the memory of anything they see before falling asleep."

"Should anyone find out, Tsunade will also find out." The Frog Hermit scratched one arm. "If _anyone_ breaks the news to her, it should be me." He grinned. The look on her face would be priceless, worth any damage he might take. "The lovebirds won't forget a thing. But, as long as they are being moved by their passions, they won't stop to wonder how things have may have miraculously changed."

The two skulking shinobi went silent as Sakura walked into a shaded area underneath large slanted trees. Right behind her, arms waving in animated fashion, came Naruto.

"_Sakura-chan! _Hey, slow down, Sakura-chan!" Naruto created a large number of clones, who moved to hem the pink-haired girl in long enough for him to catch up. "Why won't you believe me? Look at me. I'm not scorning you. Does scorn come with tears?" An enamored Naruto was weeping, overcome by his potion-altered emotions.

"This is really stupid... even for you!" Sakura struck the nearest clone so forcefully, that it impacted the next before popping out of existence. Soon, the clones fell like dominoes, leaving a large ring of whispy smoke. "It's not funny. It's _cruel. _You've never been cruel before. "She was not about to examine him again for injuries. When she tried before, Naruto had come very close to kissing her. "Even if you did care about me, how can you keep chasing after me, knowing that Hinata is somewhere worried about you?"

"If I'm stupid, it's because my love for you makes me stupid." Naruto coughed, breathing in the smoke from his departed clones. "I don't know what came over me before, thinking that Hinata was the one for me. It has _always_ been Sakura!" He sighed. "It's cruel of you to deny my honest feelings. But, it's funny how that makes me want you even more…"

"But I _don't _feel that way about you!" Sakura wanted to hit something else. She had been feeling so down before, ashamed that her longing for Sasuke had been making her weak again, after all of the personal progress she had made. At least this foolishness of Naruto's was lighting the fire within her again. Whether or not he might truly be willing to disregard Hinata's feelings, she wasn't. "Hinata does. Now of all times, she needs your help. Who knows what she might do if she thinks you don't really care!"

"Sasuke doesn't care about you," Naruto said. "But _I_ do." He held out his arms again, wanting to take her into his embrace. "Sasuke wants to marry Hinata, not you. It's good to be wanted. Who knows that better than Uzumaki Naruto? If you girls give in, all four of us could be happy." With his mind the way it was, there was no way that he could see things logically.

Propped up against a moss covered tree, Sasuke began to stir, moaning ever so slightly.

"**_Damn!" _**Anko quickly pulled the awakening boy to his feet, covered his eyes with her hand, placed her foot on his rump, and pushed him roughly out through a group of tall entangled shrubs.

"Oh Sakura," Sasuke said, his vision coming into focus as he regained his balance. "Standing there in that shaft of light, you look like a goddess… a nymph… perfect." His face showed an openness that no one in Konoha had ever seen before. "Your eyes. Those clear green eyes. What can a compare them to? Emeralds are nothing in comparison."

Naruto began growling. Sasuke again. With Sakura, Sasuke always got in his way. At least before, the arrogant and selfish bastard had always ignored her.

"Your lips, like cherries to be kissed, they tempt me more than power ever did!" Sasuke held his arms wide apart. "And your white skin, it is purer than any snow that we crossed to rescue that princess."

"_Ple-e-e-e-ase…" _Anko made a face, as if she were about to gag. "Sasuke would let himself be killed in Hinata's place, if he ever realized what he was saying.

"Shhhh!" Jiraiya was busy scribbling everything down.

"You too?" Sakura said incredulously. "Now you decide to make fun of me for your amusement? You can't bring yourself to hurt me some physical way, so you settle for _this?" _She put a hand to her head, wondering if she was delirious or something. Naruto abandoning Hinata? Sasuke babbling romantic nonsense? It was like something out of a strange dream. "You two are rivals… but not for me."

"_Sasuke! _You big jerk!" Naruto clenched his fists and widened his stance. "You know that you want to marry Hinata. _Fine! _I won't do anything to stand in your way. All you need to do is cut the crap and leave Sakura to me. I would never be a traitor to her, like you probably would. "

"Naruto!" Sasuke sneered, curling his lip. He shook his head in a condescending manner. "Keep your Hyuuga girl. I want nothing to do with _her. _I never felt any love for her; instead, I have finally admitted my feelings for Sakura."

"Well, that's a good start…" Anko wondered how Jiraiya would give Naruto the antidote, hoping that the boys wouldn't suddenly begin fighting. She asked the hermit just that.

"It's your job," Jiraiya said, lying. "Since you messed everything up." He smiled. "The remedy is in the form of a suppository."

"**_Shit!" _**Anko said, no pun intended. She blinked repeatedly… shook her head… and wrapped her hand around her knife. _"No… f-cking… way!"_

"You know, you're quite lovely when you want to hurt someone." The Legendary Sannin chuckled, holding up the antidote phial. "I only need to splash this on Naruto's eyes to reverse the effect of the elixir." He looked over to one side when a bevy of quail took to the wing. "Uh oh…"

"_Naruto-kun!" _Hinata caught sight of her fellow shinobi, but her eyes saw only Naruto. She put a hand to her chest, feeling weak in the knees with relief. "I was so worried when we were attacked, and I couldn't find any sign of you." Her eyes watered some. "But why… ummm… why didn't you… why didn't you try to find me? Was it Sasuke?"

"I followed my heart!" Naruto said, striking a Lee-like pose. "When I found love, I had to chase after. I couldn't give up on it, just as I would never quit trying to be Hokage."

"L-Love…" Hinata wrung her hands together. She didn't understand what Naruto meant. "How could l-love take you away from me… ummm… instead of bringing you back to me?"

"Waking in the forest, I happened to see the truth!" Naruto took a step closer to Sakura, growling when Sasuke did the same. It took me a while to learn my true talents as a ninja," he said. "But, once I found out how strong I could be, I knew what I had to do." He turned his back on Hinata entirely, so he could watch Sakura's face. "When I realized how much I loved Sakura, I had no choice but to follow her. That's my Ninja Way!"

"N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata felt as if the world around her was spinning. "You can't mean that…"

"Are _you _part of this game too, Hinata?" Sakura turned an angry eye on her friend. "It's all too convenient, how each of you shows up around me at the same time." She looked very much like Tsunade for a moment, her eyes flashing and her lips flattening out. "How could you be so ungrateful? I'm your friend. I came out here today to help you and Naruto!"

"I'm not… I'm not playing any game, Sakura." Hinata leaned out to steady herself against a tree once struck by lightning. "I am your friend. How could you ever think b-badly of me?"

"I… it's…" Sakura hated thinking poorly about anyone she cared for. But, things were just too strange. None of this made any sense. "Why else would Naruto come looking for me, when he was with you? Did you and he come to some agreement with Sasuke, so that he will stop siding with your father?" Her hands twitched. Maybe that made some sense. "As part of the bargain, you are all making fun of me, because I made Sasuke angry by chasing after him? I'm out of here!"

"Why would he and I ever w-want to do _that_…" Hinata was stunned. First by hearing what Naruto had said, and now by Sakura's accusations. "N-neither of us would hurt a friend to get what w-we want…" She didn't say that such a plan was something that Sasuke might do.

"_No! _Don't go, Sakura. You are my heart and my soul!" Naruto said, his voice going thick with emotion.

"Right! Your joke is _so_ funny!" Sakura began trembling with rage, her sadness threatening to overwhelm her first.

"Naruto-kun… please…" Hinata saw the look in Sakura's eyes. "Don't tease her this way!" She wanted to say 'please don't hurt me this way'.

"If the girl's request can not persuade you to stop mocking Sakura, I can force you to be kind to her!" Sasuke took up a fighting stance, his eyes narrowed and his face a mask of hatred.

"You can't stop me from loving Sakura, traitor." Naruto bit off his words, orange chakra beginning to swirl around him. "No more than I could stop you from running off to your boyfriend Orochimaru!" His face softened when he looked at Sakura. "I love you, Sakura-chan. _Promise of a Lifetime!" _He looked so sincere, that Hinata gasped, tears coming to her eyes. "How can I prove that to you?"

"I love you more than any pathetic fool like Naruto ever could!" Sasuke claimed, wishing that he could still access the curse seal that Orochimaru had given him. For Sakura, he would stop Naruto again, just as he had at the Valley of the End.

"Oh yeh!" Naruto rubbed his nose and made a flippant gesture. "Talk is cheap, pretty boy! Why don't we head over to the next clearing and see just who loves Sakura the most." He laced his fingers together and cracked his knuckles. "I'll kick your ass."

"Let's do it again, dumb ass!" Sakura brushed off his sleeves, acting as if he could easily do the same to Naruto. "You always were too stupid to see the truth, without someone pounding it into your thick skull for you."

"N-No!"Hinata moved to grab Naruto's arm. "Naruto-kun… _don't_…"

"I see. Let the other girl hold you back." Sasuke laughed and flipped at his hair. "You would hide behind just such a small thing. She's made you weak."

"Let go of me!" Naruto pulled his arm do fiercely, that Hinata was dragged along with it and thrown hard to the ground. "I don't need to stick to me like these damn burrs…" he grabbed a handful of thistle heads and cockleburs that had snagged in his jumpsuit. He threw them down on Hinata.

"Naruto-kun… why…" Hinata picked herself off of the ground slowly, cradling her injured arm to her. "I love you…"

"You love me?" Naruto looked annoyed. "What does that matter? I could hate you easier than I could ever truly love you."

"Good going…" Jiraiyas said to Anko, his face clouding over. "Now we're worse off than when we started." The only way to blunt the sting of Naruto's words would be to tell Hinata what was going on. He might have to risk letting them all in on his secret, to make certain that the girl didn't run off and do something drastic.

"I…" Anko grabbed a stick without paying attention to her actions. It split down the middle when she clenched her fist too tightly. "_You..." _She should have known better than to get involved in any kind of scheme thought up by Jiraiya. "You're very welcome."

"B-B-But…" Hinata strove mightily to maintain her composure. Was Naruto putting on some kind of act? Had he somehow managed to change Sasuke's mind about Sakura by pretending to compete with him for her? He couldn't actually mean what he said, could he?"

"_Sasuke! _Let's go!" Naruto began to feel very excited. The prospect of fighting with Sasuke again struck a chord strong enough to be felt along with desire he felt for Sakura. Indeed, the two things could serve one another. His feelings for the girl would make him fight harder. His victory over his rival would prove his love to Sakura and win her regard.

"**No!" **Sakura shouted. **_"Enough!" _**The Inner Sakura was carrying on far more than she was. There was no way that she would repeat what that part of her was saying, not with Hinata present. "I don't want either of you two either of you two idiots to fight for me… pretend, or for real." She turned her attention to Hinata. "How can you play along with this stupidity? What if one of them were to get seriously hurt? How can you call yourself Naruto's girlfriend?"

Hinata opened her mouth to deny Sakura's claims. But, before she could speak, Naruto did. "Hinata no longer has any right to call herself my girlfriend. She's a dwarf. An acorn. If you don't want to call yourself my girl, I don't want anyone doing it." He thumped himself in the chest. "Don't worry, I wont get hurt."

"N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata shrunk in on herself some more, despite trying valiantly to maintain her spirit. Finally, unable to stop herself, she took off running, headed who knows where.

"What fools these shinobi be," Anko said, shaking her head. She couldn't believe just how many knots they had managed to tie themselves into, thanks to a few drops of ointment. Keeping a straight face, she promised herself to keep some of the powerful potion. There was someone in particular who deserved to taste its effectiveness firsthand.

"Tell me about it," the Frog hermit grumped. "I have a new task for you. Don't screw up _this_ one." He smiled, seeing the look in Anko's eyes. This was good for her. She had always been one who excelled at dishing it out. Now, she needed some lessons in taking it. "Catch up to Hinata and explain things to her. Hurry, before she does something rash. Then, the two of you tell what you know to Sakura. I will keep those two hotheaded lovebirds flying this way and that until you find us again, or they drop from exhaustion."

Anko, feeling passive aggressive, ran first to Sakura, ordering her to stay near the brook. She told the befuddled girl that things were not what they seemed, and that an explanation would be coming before too long. After that, she set out after Hinata.

Jiraiya, on the other hand, relished the chance to show the two boys that they both had a great deal to learn. Necessity they say, is the mother of invention. Unlike Kakashi, who invented Chidori as an assassination technique, he had a much different source of inspiration. There were those who called him pervert. Instead, they should view him as a master of seduction and persuasion. There was much that he could get women to tell him… or even _do_ with him… if only they thought he was someone he was not. _Henge_ was simple enough, even with special refinements that he had developed. But, like the kitsune and tanuki of legend, he could imitate more than shape and form. He could mimic voices as well.

"I best move with some haste," Jiraiya said, looking up at the sky. "Before we know it, night's swift dragons will soon cut away those clouds." He laughed. There really wasn't time enough for him to be poetic. He had no desire to be chasing besotted ninjas through a dark forest!

"_Sasuke! _Where are you Sasuke!" That was Naruto, yelling at the top of his lungs. If was surprising that the loud-mouthed boy hadn't gone hoarse by now. "Come on and fight me you snake loving coward!"

"I'm over here, you stupid ass!" Jiraiya imitated Sasuke, while rushing through the upper level of the forest canopy. Anything he could get his hands on, he gathered up and threw hard down at Naruto. Acorns, breadfruit, hornet's nests, even a hissing possum.

"**I'm coming Sasuke!" **Naruto's vice grew louder as he approached while shouting out epithets.

Chuckling, the Frog hermit flashed away, hearing another voice cry out. _"Naruto! _Where are you, you stupid braggart!" It was Sasuke. "I won't let you trespass where your feelings are unwanted."

"_Sasuke! _Where are you Sasuke!" Jiriaya used Naruto's own words. How was that for authentic! "Come on and fight me you snake loving coward!" He couldn't help but smile. The boy had a way with words. Just as he had harassed Naruto, he did whatever he could to incense Sasuke while staying one step ahead of him.

Back and forth he went. First he would lead Naruto in circles, and then Sasuke, being careful that they never ran into one another. This would make yet another wonderful entry in one of his books. A future Hokage and a Clan Leader chasing their tails in the forest. Splendid. Wonderful. Marvelous.

Finally, hearing a long drawn out whistle, he knew that Anko had done her part. Having barely worked up a sweat, he abandoned his fun and led a thoroughly angry Naruto and a markedly disgusted Sasuke back to the clearing by the stream.

It was time to start putting things to right.


	7. Chapter 7

The long clustered branches of the mighty tree formed a natural arbor, supporting large masses of clinging vines.

Grapes hung heavily from the vines, and a large plush carpet of moss spread ever outward from the shady spot. It was a rare site, something poets and playwrights would give anything to see.

"Would you hear some music, my sweet love?" Tsunade smiled, looking over at Shino. He had been ordered by Yugao to stay with the Hokage, as a way to make certain that she didn't continue to wander throughout the forest. Genma had left to bring back Shizune. The other jounin patrolled the area, or stayed close to the Fifth to make certain that nothing happened to her.

Shino just shook his head. He knew the other shinobi were there to keep Tsunade safe. But, who was there to keep _him_ safe? The Hokage kept sliding closer and closer to him. They had spent a good amount of time searching for just the right place. Was that the calm before the storm, or a short stay of execution?

"**You there!"** Tsunade clapped her hands. "Fly, and bring back the finest musicians in the land. My love and I would hear music." She motioned to Hagane Kotetsu.

"_Certainly!" _Kotetsu said, running off, only to double back outside of the Hokage's filed of vision. He cringed, hearing the way that Konoha's greatest ninja spoke. What had happened to her? Was it something that the Aburame boy did? Had some enemy slipped past their guard, and done something to the Fifth?

"Come, sit down upon this mossy bed. There's no reason to be coy. I wish to caress your sleek smooth head, and kiss your hidden chin, my gentle joy." Tsunade used a large grape leaf to fan herself.

"Ma'am…" Shino swallowed hard. His hands were actually trembling. "I shouldn't do that. You're not yourself at the moment. It would be bad."

"If I'm not me, who am I?" The Hokage's giddy laughter had Kotetsu and Izumo looking at one another, concerned looks on their faces. ""They say, the best men are molded out of faults. Most become much more the better for being a little bad." Tsunade licked her lips. "One half of me is yours, the other half yours too…" She unbuttoned her blouse down to her navel. After that, she closed her eyes and rubbed her thighs.  
"It's all mine. But, if it's mine, it's yours too!"

"**Yikes!"** That exclamation burst forth from Shino's lips. He was never one for sudden loud words, or for any that crass. But, this was no normal situation. "Ma'am… it's all too…" He needed to find some words to stop her, or at least slow her down. "It's all too sudden. I am told that men and women should be in love before they say such words."

"Words?" Tsunade said, fluffing her hair. "Women speak two languages, only one of which is verbal." She gazed at Shino as if he were the most beautiful sight that she had ever seen. "I love you. I love but you, with a love that shall not die till the sun grows cold and the stars grow old." She held out her hands, causing her blouse to spread open further. "Come, give me a taste of your quality."

"**_Wait!"_** Shino scooted back some. Knocking loose a mound of moss, he exposed a small number of rare bugs that he had quested after for years. He took no note of them. "Ma'am… you know…" Come on Shino, think! "I'm… I'm not looking for love."

"Oh?" Tsunade smiled. "Love sought is good, but given unsought is better." She played with the snap at the front of her custom made brassiere. "And when love speaks, the voice of all the gods makes heaven drowsy with the harmony." She undid the snap. "Don't be afraid of my feelings for you. Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once."

"**Stop!"** Shino's eyes widened before he closed them. "I'm not the one for you!" He thought frantically. Just how strong was the Hokage? Could he use the chakra bugs to drain away enough energy, so that she might fall asleep or lose interest? "You're the Hokage. I'm just a chuunin. It would be wrong!"

"_Mmmmmm."_ Tsunade leaned closer to Shino. "A woman would run through fire and water for such a kind and thoughtful heart." She frowned prettily. "Do you doubt my love? Doubt thou the stars are fire… doubt the sun never moves… doubt truth to be a liar… but never doubt my love." She laughed happily. "Here, with you, I am not Hokage. I am woman and nothing more."

"But…" Shino readied himself. It might be considered treasonous to use his bugs against the Fifth. He had to hold her off as long as possible. Why weren't the jounin helping more? Probably because she had swatted them like flies earlier, when they tried to convince her to return to the village. The three were content to wait, since they weren't the object of the woman's affection. "I am too weak with hunger to even think…" That might do it.

"That is easily overcome," Tsunade said. _"Servants! _Attend to me!" She clapped her hands again. In a few moments, Izumo and had Kotetsu answered her summons, giving Shino a look of pity. They nodded, signaling him to be strong and hold out as best he could. "Someone search the woods for food. The other hurry to the village, and bring back the finest sweets you can find." She gave no sign that she remembered sending Kotetsu off before.

"Perhaps you should rest, Ma'am." Shino said. "I will do my part in guarding you, while you sleep. You look as if you have been through difficult times." Please take that suggestion! _Please. _"When the food arrives, I promise to wake you." He couldn't be banished from the village for one little lie.

"I will rest indeed, if you are entwined in my arms." Tsunade moved swiftly, wrapping her arms around Shino. "My bounty is as deep as the sea, as is my love. The more I give to you, the more I have, for both are infinite." Pulling him to her, she thrust his face deep within her cleavage.

"**_Mrrrphhh…"_** Shino couldn't breath. Jerking, he prematurely released his chakra bugs, which spread out across the mossy area without sufficient commands. Fighting against the Hokage's enormous strength, he managed briefly to come up for air. **"H-E-L-P!"**

Tsunade began planting a serious of kisses on the struggling Shino's forehead. She wouldn't budge when Kotetsu and Izumo tugged at her arms. Even with help from Yugoa they had no effect. Frantically, they sought ways to assist Shino, whose face was turning blue.

Izumo jumped up, grasped a large cluster of wild grapes, and fell back down to earth. Getting down on his knees, he held the fruit out to Tsunade. "Your food, Ma'am! Your love seems to be dying… of hunger…"

"What a way to go," Kotetsu said, before flinching. The look that Yugao gave him could have sliced through steel.

"**Gahhh-h-h-h…"** Shino took a deep breath of air, his lungs feeling as if they were on fire. His glasses were still trapped between the Hokages breasts. "Thank you…" His thanks was directed to the worried jounin.

"You have no need to thank me, sweet chick!" Tsunade handed Shino his dark glasses. "Instead, I will go down on my knees, and thank Heaven, fasting, for a good man's love." She stared at Shino's lap, smiled a wicked smile, and looked up into his eyes. He dropped the glasses before he was able to hook them over his ears.

"**_No!"_** Shino stood up, sweating profusely. He held his hands in front of his crotch.

"The horn, the horn, the lusty horn, is not a thing to laugh to scorn." Tsunade smiled. "Don't let your modesty hold you back. While I may woo you in haste, I mean to wed you at leisure." She laughed. "So, there's no harm in getting a head start on our nuptial night."

Shino stepped backwards, quickly, but tripped over a large stump. "I can't. Not like _this_…" He looked for a good excuse. "Not with all of these people watching…" He looked up at the sky. "And not in broad daylight."

"_Hmmmmm," _Tsunade sucked on one of her fingers, staring at Shino. "Are you embarrassed? Small things make base men proud. But you are not base. And, if you are small, you need only be more skilled." Her lusty look had the watching jounin catching their breath. Even at the risk of their own lives, they had to stop the Fifth before she did something immoral. "What was that phrase? Great floods have flown from simple sources…"

"Ma'm… no… _wait_…" Shino would try one last thing. If that failed, he would run, whether or not it was the cowardly thing to do. He didn't acre if it took longer for Shizune and the other medical personnel to find the Hokage. _"Please ! _Wait until it's dark…"

"Oh bashful boy," Tsunade smiled. "You'll be mine from dusk to dawn." She looked up at the sky, seeing clouds that were painted by the setting sun. "Gallop quickly, you fiery-footed steeds, and bring in cloudy night immediately. Spread your curtain, love-performing night, so that my lover will leap into these arms, and we can see too our amorous rites. Come night! Come Shino!"

The jounin all turned to face in the direction behind the bower. Two flashed into concealment, while Kotetsu remained in the open, determined to draw the attention of any intruder away from the Hokage.

"Relax!" Jiraiya held his hands up as he walked from behind a group of white birch trees. "I'm here to see to the stricken Tsunade." He kept a straight face, knowing that he was the reason that she was so stricken. "_Ahhh. _Tsunade! I've never seen you so radiant. Have you found true love at last?" He looked over at Anko, who had trailed behind him after they had given Naruto the antidote and explained things to the four shinobi. Sasuke had asked that the Frog Hermit wait to remove the effects of the love elixir.

"Yes!" Tsunade tossed her hair. "You can be as jealous as you want; it bothers me not. My heart's desire is more man than you could ever hope to be." She looked over at Shino. The boy was vehemently shaking his head.

"It's such a sweet sight!" Jiraiya laughed, seeing the look on the jounin faces. "I begin to pity her in her dotage. Imagine, seeking favors from this poor fool." He shook his finger at Shino, as if the boy had done something wrong. "I heard rumors that she fell in love with you in a slightly different form…"

"I…" Shino didn't know what to say. The word rumors had him feeling queasy. It would have been bad enough, had only the jounin witnessed what had happened here. But, if Jiraiya and Anko knew what happened, word might be all over town by morning!

"Ah well," Jiraiya said with a grand flourish. "Be as you want to be… see as you want to see…" With quick motions, he threw antidote into Tsunade's eyes as his arms swept past her face.

"Wh-Wh-What…" Tsunade blinked rapidly, shaking her head. She looked all around her, her love-crazed memories crowding in on her. "How…" She rubbed her eyes. Looking over at Shino, her mouth fell open.

"First, a crush on Kakashi…" Jiraiya put his hand over his mouth. "_Ooops_… that slipped out…" His eyes sparkled in the colored evening light. "Now, trying to take advantage of a poor innocent lad…"

Anko flinched when Tsunade looked over at her, wondering why she was out in the forest at this hour. The Hokage looked back at Shino, wondering why he was there as well. "It must have been a dream…"

"Really?" Jiraiya grinned. "_You, _what did you overhear?" He pointed at Izumo.

"Well… she said…" He swallowed, seeing the look on the Hokage's face. "'It's all mine. But, if it's mine, it's yours too!' She was talking about…" He shook his head, unable to continue.

"_Hmmmm. _Sounds more like a nightmare than a dream," the Frog Hermit said. "How about you?" he nodded to Kotetsu.

"I…" The jounin closed his mouth. He saw the Fifth clenching her fists.

"Go ahead," Jiraiya prompted. "We need to hear the truth of the matter."

"She… the Hokage said 'Come, give me a taste of your quality'." Kotetsu coughed. He shivered for a moment. "She also said 'I will go down on my knees, and thank Heaven for a good man's love'."

"On her knees?" Jiraiya shook his head in mock disapproval. "Tempting and corrupting a frightened innocent youth. _Tragic!" _He smiled, seeing the look on Tsunade's face. "What else did she say?" He looked over at Yugao.

Yugoa shook her head. "No. I don't…" She swallowed hard when Jiraiya furrowed his brow and stood with the setting sun at his back. For a moment, he looked like an Oni out of legend. "I'm sorry, Ma'am." She looked apologetically at the Hokage. "She said 'The horn, the horn, the lusty horn, is not a thing to laugh to scorn'." She repeated what she said at the Frog Hermit's insistence. He chuckled as he wrote things down on a small notepad.

"It's OK, Shino. You did nothing wrong here." Jiraiya looked over at the chuunin. "It's probably a very good time for you to head home." He smiled as the by took off, moving faster than he usually would. The jouinin all called out praise to the retreating form, saying that he had been braver than many a ninja they knew.

"But… I don't…" Tsunade bit her lip, drawing blood. "This doesn't make any sense at all!" She narrowed her eyes. "Unless _you_ had something to do with it…" She looked over at Anko, who nodded until Jiraiya turned to look at her. "It looks like you have a lot of explaining to do." She flexed one arm, and then the other.

Elsewhere with the wooded area, a new group of travelers had arrived from the village. Ahead of them, dogs of all shapes and sizes ran and sniffed, trying to track down someone they all sought.

"This doesn't count as our night out, you know." Kakashi spoke to Kurenai, who strolled at his side.

"That's what _you_ think," Kurenai said, watching as the hounds that Kakashi summoned did their thing.

"The dogs' behavior must mean that my daughter is indeed within this forest!" Hiashi walked along with Kurenai and Kakashi, his face a mask of anger. He had heard word that Hinata and Naruto had been spotted outside of the Great Wall of Konoha.

"Yes, but she is not the only one." Kakashi frowned. He had not wanted to be bothered by Hyuuga Hiashi again so soon. But, he couldn't refuse the man's request for his aid. Had he done so, there was no doubt that he would have used his own men to hunt for Hinata. No doubt they would find her. That was not the issue. The question was what they would do when they found her… and whoever she was with. "Pakkun!"

"I smell the girl who uses the same shampoo as me," Pakkun said. Kakashi knew that meant Sakura. "Some of the others have caught scent of Naruto. " He listened to a series of barks from different dogs. "It seems the Uchiha boy is here as well. The Hokage, too. And Jiraiya!"

"Are they all together?" Hiashi's voice grew husky. Was this some kind of conspiracy against him? If it was, they would find out that is was not wise to try and conspire against the great families!

"There's no way to know," Kakashi said, sighing. Just what had they stumbled upon? "We'll know when we come across them." He exchanged looks with Kurenai. They didn't know whether to have hope, or to run for the hills.

The barking grew louder. When they all walked into a clearing near a noisy brook, the forms of four shinobi were visible in the waning light.

"**Kakashi-sensei!" **That shout came from Naruto, of course. "Oh crap. Why is _he_ here?" He was not too pleased to see Hinata's father.

"F-Father…" Hinata wondered if her father was going to force her to make her choice early.

"_Uchiha Sasuke!" _Hiashi ignored Hinata and Naruto. He looked over at Sasuke, who stood near Sakura. "What are you doing here? Have you come to get my daughter to see the rightness in your troth?"

"That's what brought me out here, Sir." Sasuke looked puzzled, but not unhappy. "Sakura had told me that Naruto and Hinata would be meeting here, today. So, I came to make them see reason. But…" He rubbed his neck, filled with a sense of wonder. "But, by some strange means, my desire to marry your daughter seemed to melt away faster than snow could." He looked over at Sakura. "It was like tasting a food I once hated. But, finding that I love the taste after all, I know that I will never long for something else."

"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura blushed. She knew it was the potion talking; but, she couldn't help but smile anyway. She wasn't going to clue Hinata's father into that fact. Whether or not sasuke would ever care about her, his confession would effectively destroy Hyuuga Hiashi's plans.

"P-P-Preposterous!" The veins at Hiashi's temples bulged, as if he were preparing to use Byakugan. "How will that common girl help you restore the honor and dignity of your clan?"

"She won't," Sasuke said. "But, there are things that are more important than clans and honor." He shrugged. "Why should there even be clans and families, if they don't care for the people who are part of them?" Staring at Sakura's face, he spoke the next words without pain or rancor. "I always wondered how my brother could destroy a whole clan. Isn't it just as bad, to have a clan destroy a whole person?" He looked over at Hinata.

"Yeh! I know how _that_ feels," Naruto said, reaching out to take Hinata's hand in defiance, knowing that it would piss Hiashi off. "Except it was more than a clan. It's a whole village!" He frowned. "I'll tell you something. It sucks!" He smirked a moment. "Want me to tell you _what_ it sucks?"

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata shook her head.

"This all means nothing," Hiashi said. "I'm certain Sasuke will come to his senses in time. Even if he doesn't, it's just a matter of time before I find Hinata another suitor who will serve the Hyuugas well."

"Naruto…" Kakashi spoke quickly before Naruto could say something that would get him in serious trouble. "Have you seen Jitaiya? The dogs say that he was out in this forest. The Hokage, too."

"Yeh! Ero-Sennin was out here." Naruto folded his arms over his chest. He was not going to tell anyone about the potion. "We didn't see Old Lady Tsunade, though."

"What was the Legendary Sannin up to?" Hiashi asked, suspicious. "Did he force you to change your mind, Sasuke. If he _did, _I will stand behind you, with the entire weight of my clan. I am certain that the other great families will do the same, if they think that the Leaf's strongest shinobi are playing unfair favorites."

"He did not force me to do anything," Sasuke answered. It was essentially true. If anything, it had been Anko who placed him under the influence of the Frog Hermit's elixir. "There is nothing he could do to threaten me that I would fear. If I can withstand the threats of Orochimaru and my brother, I have little to worry about from some who has the Leaf's best interests in mind."

"Since you came to me for help today," Kakashi said. "And, since you approached me earlier for my assistance on this entire matter…" He winked at Kurenai, without Hiashi being able to see that. "I hope you will take my council on things."

"What council?" Hiashi made a sour face. "Are you going to tell me what I should or should not do?"

"No. That would be presumptuous." Kakashi held up his hands. "It's growing late. And, it's getting dark." He send the dogs back in the direction from whence they came. "While there may be no enemy agents roaming these wood at night, this is still not the safest place to discuss matters."

"Perhaps we should all get together and talk things out tomorrow," Kurenai offered. "After everyone has a chance to sleep on things, and when we are all fresh." She looked over at Hinata and the others. "No doubt there are tales to hear." She also wondered just what Tsunade had been up to. Would the morning bring with it the knowledge that Hinata no longer had to fear her father's plans for her?

Hiashi stood still a while, his eyes going from one person to another. He sneered looking at Naruto, and looked as if he had an upset stomach when he looked at Sasuke. His glance passed over Sakura and Hinata, settling on Kakashi's face, covered as it was by his mask and tilted forehead protector.

"I certainly can't find anything to fault with your suggestion" He looked over at Hinata. "My daughter will stay with me."

"Tomorrow, then." Kakashi said.


	8. Chapter 8

The small room adjoining the Hokage's chambers was filled with shelves.

Each shelf and sturdy cabinet held dozens of scrolls, books, manuscripts, and reports. The room also doubles as a storage room of sorts, as evidenced by the folding chairs, a small impromptu kitchenette, gifts sent to the Fifth from other nations, and numerous sundry items.

"Why isn't Shino here?" Ino looked over at Shikamaru, who was leaning up against one cabinet with a sour look on his face.

"Ask Kiba," Shikamaru said. "Shino's his teammate. It's not _my_ job to keep track of everyone. That would be…"

"Too bothersome," Choji said, frowning when he opened a small refrigerator. The appliance was plugged in, running, and quite cold. But, it was also empty.

"Shino got home long after the rest of us. That's all I know." Kiba picked up a ceremonial headpiece sent from a distant country and placed it on his head. The long colored feathers kept brushing against Ten Ten's face, finally causing her to sneeze.

"What makes you think Shino is even going to show up?" Ten Ten asked, taking the headpiece off of a laughing Kiba. "We don't even know why we've been called here, or why we have to wait in this room."

"Well, some of the answers are obvious." Neji was flipping through the pages on an old Kemai Butai blotter on S-class criminals. "All of us here were involved in the plan to put on a charade meant to influence the Hokage's decisions." He didn't flinch saying that. Some of the others turned pale or twitched. "Since this room abuts the Hokage's, we are being kept here until she wants to speak to us."

"Great idea, Shikamaru." Kiba scowled. "I wish we _all _could be geniuses."

"_Hey! _Don't blame him!" Ino put her hands on her hips. "No one forced you to go along."

"**_Ohhhh-h-h-h-h-h_**… that is correct!" Lee struck a pose, prompting Kiba to put the headpiece on him. "This was not about Shikamaru. It was about Naruto and Hinata." He blinked rapidly when Kiba placed a long ceremonial spear in his hand, the enameled weapon taller than them all. "Should we have acted, or not acted. That is what really matters. We could have done nothing, surrendering to bad fortune. Instead, we took action against the troubles that faced us. If we have to die for doing what was right, we enter our final dreams knowing that we would not abandon our comrades to proud oppressors, despised love, or the insolence of office. **_Ahhhh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h…"_**

Everybody stood stunned at first. Then, looking at one another, and seeing how Lee looked holding the spear and headpiece, they all burst into laughter.

"Lee," Neji said with a rare smile on his face. "I seriously doubt that our actions deserve such a drastic punishment. We were only practicing. None of us made any attempt to influence anyone."

"Nice speech, though." Kiba took the spear from Lee, stood on top of a chair, and then held the weapon up. "Should we have acted, _blah blah blah. _If we have to die for doing what was right, _blah blah blah." _He dipped the spear and prodded an unsuspected Ino in the rear, causing her to stumble and fall against Shikamaru. "Oppressors, love, office, _yada yada yada…"_

"You can stand back up now," Shikamaru said, frowning at a blushing Ino. He looked over at Choji, whose face clearly said that he wished Ino had fallen against him.

Lee looked down at his feet. Gai-sensei would have liked his call for justice. He looked up at the sound of a jangling door knob. The door to the outside hallway opened. Looking somewhat stiff, Shino walked in.

"Aburame Shino, I recognize you!" Kiba spoke as if he was some grand official. Letting the spear fall and tossing away the feathered head-ware, he jumped down to speak with his friend. "What took you so long man? And what happened after Anko discovered what we were doing? Did she grab you and drag you before the Hokage or something?"

Shino actually shivered at the mention of the word 'Hokage.' While he refused to answer, his response had not been overlooked.

"Something happened with the Hokage," Ten Ten said. "It must have been pretty bad!" That had everyone standing a bit more uneasy. "I wonder if we will have to face the same thing…"

"**Gah!" **Shino bit his tongue too late. That exclamation came out of its own accord.

Kiba swallowed hard. _"Shit! _It must have been something bad." He met the gaze of each of his fellow shin obi in turn. "Damn! That's what happens when the Hokage is a woman!"

Shino held a hand over his mouth to make certain he remained quiet. The Fifth was indeed a woman. His thoughts went back to his ordeal. That kind of thing most definitely would not happen again. He was slightly relieved to realize that his friends had no idea what happened. Yet.

"That's sexist!" Ino put her hands on her hips, glaring at Ino. "I doubt Shino would have felt any differently, if Sartutobi had done the same thing to him. _Right, _Shino?"

"**Erk!" **Shino couldn't help himself. There were certain things that he just didn't want to imagine.

The shinobi all looked at one another and muttered in quiet worried tones. Shino was usually quiet and reserved. If his punishment was fearful enough to make him act the way he ways, what was in store for the rest of them?

"Don't anyone mention that Kurenai was involved in the original planning," Kiba said, standing up for his sensei. "Neither she or Kakashi were at the forest, to be seen by Anko.

As it turned out, Kakashi and Kuernai were already in the Hokage's chambers. When the door to their room opened, Jiraiya motioned for them all to come out. The Legendary Sannin walked with a pronounced limp. One eyes was swollen shut, and one jaw looked more like a grapefruit than part of his face.

"Before we get to the more serious matters at hand, I have a minor and related issue to deal with." Tsunade sat behind her large paper-covered desk, leaning back in a large ornate over-stuffed chair. Standing at either side of the desk were Kurenai and Kakashi, neither or whom showed any sign of concern when the shinobi were led into the center of the room.

"You guys are probably screwed!" That helpful comment came from Naruto, who was standing in a group with Hinata, Sasuke, and Sakura.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata tugged at one of his sleeves. _"Shhhh!"_

"This had better not take too long." Hyuuga Hiashi looked eager and annoyed at the same time. He had asked four Clan Leaders from different families to accompany him. He wanted witnesses, should the Hokage try any tricks. He would be glad to have his peers see his triumph, if things went well. And, should the Uchiha boy keep to his latest choices, each of the men had worthy sons of marriageable age. Now that the arrow was already in flight, he would make certain that it would find some target.

"Dumb ass…" Sasuke scowled. It was hard to tell if he was speaking about Naruto, Hiashi, or both.

"_Sasuke-kun_…" Sakura just stood doe-eyed. Saukse could have just sworn an oath capable of shriveling each leaf on the large potted plant sitting near Tsunade's desk, and she would have reacted in just the same way.

"**Anko!" **Tsunade looked over to the side. Stepping out from behind the assembled gentleman, the dark-haired jounin made her way to the front of the room. For reasons unbeknownst to the other individuals, she was looking rather subdued. The tongue lashing she had received from the Hokage had been epic in proportion, even though it had been Jiraiya who had applied to elixir.

"Ma'am…" Anko looked over at the Frog Hermit. True, she had agreed to go along with his scheme. But, he would pay, just the same.

"Why don't you tell everyone what you saw in the forest?" Tsunade meant for her to describe what she had seen regarding Neji and the rest.

"**_Right! _**I can't wait for the part that Shino had an ass's head, and…" Jiraiya left things hanging there. He knew that Tsunade didn't want anything about her behavior around Shino discussed. That didn't stop her former partner from waving the possibility about like a flag. "Oh… forget I said that…"

Anko spoke quickly and accurately, mentioning everything she had seen and heard. That had Naruto and Hinata looking over at their friends, surprised and very happy. Naruto gave Lee and the others a nice guy pose that shamed anything that the bushy eyebrow boy and his sensei could do. "Come on Hinata, you too." He nudged Hinata. She did her best to strike a pose.

"Ahhh-h-h-h…" Lee smiled. A moment later, he wiped a tear from his eye. Ten Ten and Neji looked at one another and sighed.

"You forgot the light shining off of your teeth part," Kiba called over to Naruto.

"Is _that _what we need to be discussing here today, Mr. Inuzuka?" Tsunade drummed her fingers against the top of her cluttered desk. She looked down by Kiba's feet. "At least Akamaru is behaving. He's the only one from Team Kurenai that hasn't given me any trouble." She was unable to look over at Shino.

"Sorry, Ma'am." Kiba swallowed hard.

"In any case, I find it very interesting that the group of you had decided to work on some kind of play." The Hokage steepled her fingers and rested her chin on top. "I'm kind of surprised that some of your senior shinobi didn't catch wind of thinks, and council you against such a reckless act." Slyly, she looked over at Kakashi, and then Kurenai. Both remained completely still; but, a single sweat drop formed on the Copy Ninja's brow. Tsunade noticed and smiled. "Neji, as the jounin in the group, why don't you explain to me what you hoped to accomplish, and the reasons behind your actions."

Neji stepped to the fore, bowed, and did as he was asked. After that, the others were called upon to add their own explanations.

"That's treasonous," Hiashi said, his face a mask of anger and contempt. "To think that the shinobi of the Leaf would attempt to influence the decisions of the Hokage."

"**Stuff it!" **Naruto said, ignoring the finger that Hinata held to her mouth. "You ought to know that nothing can change Granny Tsundae's mind, unless you have some kind of magic potion or something." He wrinkled his nose, wondering why Ero-sennin was laughing.

"Insolent little…" Hiashi stiffened, unaccustomed to being talked to in that manner.

"**_ENOUGH!" _**Tsunade's shout had a number of people covering their ears. She had been looking at the Frog Hermit when she spoke. "We will all observe the proper decorum here. While you are not the one under scrutiny now, brat…" She glared at Naruto, feeling no need to follow decorum herself where _he_ was involved. "That doesn't mean I can't find something to criticize about you, too!"

"What else is new?" Naruto grumped, tugging at one ear. "If you ask me… _mrffl brgrll frbrll_…" Hinata had shocked everyone by putting her hand over his mouth.

"Good girl," Tsunade said.

"Thank you, daughter." Hiashi's words shocked everyone even more.

"Now, back to business." Tsunade tapped her finger against her cheek. "I really don't like the idea of ninjas interfering where they have no business getting involved." She watched as Hiashi nodded and then began whispering amongst his fellow dignitaries. "However, these were extraordinary circumstances that threatened to touch us all. I'm glad to see that you were willing to come to the aid of your comrades, and had chosen to put on an act, rather than put the welfare of those friends ahead of the village." She looked over at Kakashi who nodded, thinking about his father.

"Be that as it may…" Hiashi closed his mouth when the Hokage raised her hand.

"I think that I will make your punishment fit the crime," Tsunade said. "This is Jiraiya's idea… probably the only good one he has had in years…" She grimaced, looking over at her fellow Sannin. He made a facetious gesture with his hands and bowed to her. "Since you were all determined to put on a charade, I think you will have the chance to do something in the same vein."

"Yes," Jiraiya said. "I am quite partial to romantic tragedies…" He looked over at Tsunade. "So, I suggested that you all be made to put on a number of performances. The gennin, chuunin, and jounin will all be invited to watch your presentations, as a way to break up tedium that fills their days. So, you will indeed be doing a great service to your fellows."

"I've set the number at three," Tsunade said. "After hearing Ino speak, I must say I would like to see the story of Thisby and Pyramus made into a play. "Anon comes Pyramus, sweet youth and tall, and finds his trusty Thisby's mantle slain; whereat with blade, with bloody blameful blade, he bravely broached his boiling bloody breast; and, Thisby, tarrying in mulberry shade, his dagger drew and died." She brought her hand to her mouth. There were still some aftereffects to the elixir she had been given.

"Bravo," Jiraiya said, clapping his hands. _"Bravisimo. _You should be in the play as well." He didn't flinch when Tsunade looked daggers at him.

"We could do a play about Hero and Leander too," Ino said brightly. She took a step back when her companions all turned to stare at her. This was not their idea of fun.

"How about a 'Midsummer Night's Dream'?" That sneaky question came from Kakashi, whose mask made it easier for him to keep a straight face. He had recognized the striking parallels between the Bard's work and the things that had happened in that forest.

"**NO!" **Tsunade said firmly, bringing her fist down on her desk. **_"Absolutely not!" _**Most of the assembled group looked at each other perplexed, as they had never read that play.

"I'm quite partial to 'Romeo & Juliet'," Jiraiya said. "I believe that Shino would make a wonderful Romeo. Now, who should we choose as his lady love?" Too slow, he was unable to duck before being hit in the face with a large paperweight that Tsunade threw.

Shino froze. He was not normally very religious. Just the same, he prayed that his name was not brought up again. As it turns out, lady luck smiled upon him. Their sentence levied, the shinobi were allowed to leave so that the main business at hand could be discussed.

"We found ourselves caught up in a very difficult situation," Kurenai said, when she was asked to describe her role in the initial meeting with Hiashi.

"Yes," Kakashi put in. "It was like something out of an antique fable," he added, seeing Jiraiya give him a secretive thumbs up. "Lovers. Madmen. Seething brains. Nothing as harsh could have found its way from some poet's pen." He winked at Kurenai, who was learning to appreciate his gifted tongue and keen sense of humor. "It might make a good book," he said to the Frog Hermit.

"**_AHEM!" _**Tsunade was not amused.

"I was caught between acting like a responsible shinobi of the Leaf…" The Copy Ninja looked over at Hiashi. "…And, as a friend and teacher. I thought that the best thing I could do was give an ear to both parties, and arrange for more time so that everyone could think things through." He wasn't about to say 'So that the Hokage could find some way to knock down some arrogant jerk's plan'.

"Well, we have all managed to so just that." Tsunade placed her hand on an old yellowed scroll. She looked over at Sasuke. "Mr. Uchiha, it seems that you were one of the principle players in this little drama. What do you have to say about all this?"

"This is your last chance to come to your senses," Hiashi put in before being silenced by a sharp look from the Hokage.

"He already did," Naruto said, smiling. That smile would do more to unsettle Hinata's father than any word he could have used. _"Right, _Hinata?" He put his arm around her, amazed that she didn't pull away this time.

That didn't sit to well with Hiashi either. He frowned as his peers began asking him whispered questions.

"I will not speak in too much detail," Sasuke said, instructed to leave out any mention of elixirs and antidotes. "Suffice it to say, I found myself in a strange state, one where I no longer had any desire to follow through on my quest for Hinata's hand." He looked at Sakura for a moment, before looking away, feeling strangely uncomfortable. "When my head cleared, and I was myself again, I realized that some of the feelings I had felt were true. I just never…"

He couldn't get the words out. He had been so caught up with thoughts of power and vengeance in his earlier years, that he never allowed himself to have any positive emotions. He had felt something, when Sakura had tried to keep him from running off to meet with the Sound Four. He had felt something much stronger when given that troublesome potion. But, after Jiraiya convinced him to take the antidote, he still had nascent feelings for his pink-haired teammate.

"Thank you," Tsunade said, not wanting Sasuke to say more than he was comfortable saying. He still had a long road ahead of him, winning back the trust of the village and his friends; but, this was a good first step. "As we can all see, the decree involving Uchiha Sasuke's and Hyuuga Hinata's marriage is no longer in effect, since the boy is withdrawing from any such compact."

"True." Hiashi took a few steps towards the Hokage's desk. "The Uchiha boy has made his bed, and will now be forced to lay in it."

"_Hey! _Sakura! You're a medical ninja." Naruto's face screamed with mischief. "Make certain Sasuke remembers the condoms!"

"That's not…" Hiashi's face clouded over.

"**N-A-R-U-T-O!" **Sakura balled up her fists much in the way that Tsunade was wont to do.

Kakashi met Jiraiya's gaze. It was a shame that the Fourth couldn't be there to see this. He would have been amused.

"Dumb ass." This time, there was no question who Sasuke was referring to.

"As I was trying to say!" Hiashi was practically shouting in an attempt to regain everyone's attention. "The suitor may have changed; but, my right to do what I wish with my daughter remains." He nodded back to the other Clan Leaders. "As it turns out, there are a number of young men I will be choosing from. You will be hearing from me again in the not too distant future."

"I see," Tsunade said, keeping a smirk off of her face. "I suppose we must all follow the ancient rules, whether or not they are written into our current book of laws."

"**_Indeed!" _**Hiashi smiled triumphantly, his eyes lighting up when he saw the look on naruto's face. "It is the duty and honor of anyone within the Leaf to follow the letter of any law that has not be overturned or abolished in formal fashion."

"Yes!" "That's right." "So true." Hiashi's peers seconded his statement.

"_Really?" _Naruto began walking towards Hiashi until signals from both Kakashi and Jiraiya had him stopping. "Is there any old law that says a guy can kick some jerk's ass, if the loser tries to use some freaking rule to make his daughter do something that would break her heart?" Naruto turned to look at Hiashi. "Just asking…"

Tsunade had to fight a grin. Usually, Naruto's attitudes were directed towards her. This time, she could sit back and enjoy someone else being the beneficiary. God save the clans if he ever did make Hokage! "I haven't come across any such law, Naruto." She pointed a finger at him, and then motioned for him to walk back over to Hinata. "As I understand it, you were given a choice of marriage, death, or a nun's habit. Isn't that true, Hinata?"

"Yes, Ma'am. I choose…" Hinata swallowed hard, tears coming to her eyes.

"Actually, you don't _have_ to choose." Tsunade couldn't keep the smile off of her face.

"**WHAT?" **Hiashi shouted, a rare event for a man who prided himself on his control. "That is… that is…"

"It is quite within the law, actually." Jiraiya beat Tsunade to the punch, swiping the ancient scroll before the Hokage could. "Here… read this…" He tossed it to Hiashi.

"This is… but…" Hiashi went pale as he read the first section of the scroll. "It's not an official law. This scroll is cracked with age. It… but how…" He ran down. He knew that he was well and truly stymied. All of his plans were null and void.

"Right!" Tsunade said, slapping her hand against her chair arm. "The old rule says that a Clan Chief who unseats his Heir no longer has any say over the life of that person. The law is the law, and rules are rules."

"_Yes!" _Naruto pumped his fist. Hinata began crying, happy tears this time.

Hiashi's face fell. Not saying another word, he turned and left the room. His fellow dignitaries left, some of them looking eager to spread word of Hiashi's defeat.

With the audience at an end, Tsunade sat back in her chair and rubbed her temples. Finally, the matter had been put to rest. She still needed to think about the damn elixir and potion that the perverted hermit had devised, but that was an issue for another day. She could outlaw its use, but that probably wouldn't have any effect on the hairy old goat.

The others all set off on their own business. Naruto had promised to buy everyone Ramen who wanted some. Hinata just wanted to go wherever Naruto went. Sakura and Sasuke orbited around one another like planets, uncertain what they should do or hope for.

As Jiraiya was walking down the large hallway, he found himself in a cloud of noxious gas. Soon thereafter, he felt liquid splash against his eyes.

"It's _your_ turn now," Anko said, standing over the fallen man. "I'll go get someone or some thing special for you to see when you wake up." She had used the last of the elixir. No one had thought to ask for it.

When Kurenai and Kakashi came walking down the hallway, they saw Jiraiya make his way to his feet.

Turning, the Fog hermit looked at Kurenai and smiled. "Sweet Kurenai. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, and summer's lease hath all too short a date. Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, and often is his gold complexion dimmed; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature's changing course untrimmed; But thy eternal summer shall not fade nor lose possession of that fairness that is you"

"Wh-Wh-What…" Kurenai instinctively moved away from Jiraiya, backing into a wall.

"The elixir," Kakashi said. "No doubt Anko kept a bit of it for her own use."

"Lovely lady, all the world's a bed, and all the men and women merely bedmates." The legendary Sannin leered at the startled jounin. "I wish to nurse on you like an infant. I want to discover bashful joy like a schoolboy. Sighing like a furnace, I will sing you a lover's ballads, before dying in your arms like an old man."

"Gr-Gr-Great…" Kurenai frowned, seeing that Kakashi was just standing calmly by.

"Glad he wasn't looking at me," the Copy Ninja said.

"Beautiful maiden, you are worthy of greatness." Jiraiya held his arms wide open. "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. And some have greatness… thrust… upon them." He began walking towards a frantic looking Kurenai.

"There's nothing to worry about," Kakashi said flatly. "He's already taken the antidote, suspecting that Anko might play some kind of trick."

"Traitor!" Jiraiya said. He looked over at Kurenai. "What can I say?" Listening a second, he smiled. "It sounds like someone is coming back, wanting to see the fruit of her labor. Don't let on that I am unaffected!"

"So, it's not too much fun to be on the other end of a prank is it, Legendary Loser!" Anko smiled a wicked smile when she walked up, holding a gerbil in a small cage. It was the best she could do in such a short time. She was too late in making it back from the pet shop She looked over at Kurenai. "Are _you_ the apple of his eye?"

"Yes," Kakashi answered for Kurenai. "You missed the pretty speeches."

"_Wonderful!" _Anko crowed. She liked Kurenai after a fashion; but, the other girl seemed to proper much of the time. This ought to do her some good, just like the Aburame boy's ordeal had done him. "It's great when a trouble maker gets his just desserts!"

"Glad to hear you say that," Jiraiya said, tossing the last of his elixir in Anko's eyes with one hand while working hand seals with the other. He rubbed his hands together when she slumped to the floor, fast asleep. "You two want to stay and watch?"

"**No!" **Kurenai grabbed Kakashi's arm and started pulling him down the hall. "We have a date to go on."

"Have fun!" Jiraiya said. Chortling, he added "I know that I will." Stretching, and stiffling a yawn, he performed _Kuchiyose No Jutsu._

"_Yo! _Boss!" Gamakisu… a cousin to Gamakichi and Gamatachi… bowed his head when he saw who summoned him. "What's up?"

"We're going to see if an old fairytale is true or not." The Frog hermit smiled.

"Huh?" The large frog scratched at the side of his snout. _"Whoa!" _He was startled when Jiraiya picked him up suddenly.Embarrassed, he peed all over Anko like a small normal toad might, just as the dark-haired woman was waking up.

"There's always some story where a girl kissing a frog finds a prince…"

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THE END


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